Day #15: Creating “Connection” Through Conversation
Ok.
Long lesson today. Don’t let that intimidate you.
We’re gonna be talking about making her feel a deep sense of connection to you.
Now, this is something that Rob and I discuss in the “validation” section of The Scrambler Seminar…
But its so important, that I want to cover it here.
So on Day 10 I told you “value” in the eyes of women is based on three things. (Which I appropriately named the Triangle of Temptation (TAT).
1. How much fun she has with you.
2. How much connection she has with you.
3. How much sexual excitement she feels around you.
Today let’s talk about “connection.”
Because the goal of a conversation is to connect with her.
After using the “Fast Forward” opener you learned a couple days you need to “hook” the conversation.
You need to get her to invest some interest into talking to you.
This way she doesn’t flake after giving you her number. This way she’s waiting for you to call.
How do you do this. Get a girl to invest?
First things first.
Easiest way to elicit a response is to make assumptions about her.
Statements.
Funny guesses.
For instance: The other night was talking to a girl in a bar in NY city. She told me she just moved here from Iowa.
Most guys would ask a basic question to follow that up.
They’d probably ask “How do you like the city?”
Boring.
Predictable.
You gave her control of the conversation.
Instead I said, “So you’re here because you had bright lights big city dreams… imagined yourself strolling down Fifth Ave, swinging your brief case, on your way to a job in… let me guess… hmmm. You totally strike me as a… zoo keeper. You work at Central park Zoo. Am I right or am I right.”
HER: A zoo keeper? haha No. Why would you think that? I’m actually in finance.
ME: Don’t know just had a momentary vision of you in a cute zoo keeper outfit. One of those park ranger hats. Holding a baby monkey.
The zoo keeper guess kept things light and playful. Made it a little FUN.
Flirted for a bit more. (using techniques from Day 11)
But now it was time to connect on an emotional level.
“So tell me what your first week in the city was like” I asked her.
Here she brought up the emotions she felt.
[+] Fear mixed with excitement.
Using the emotions she presented me “fear and excitement” I moved to another thread.
ME: Well aren’t the most satisfying times in life the times you feel that adrenaline? Think about your most memorable vacation. I bet it wasn’t one where you sipped a Pina Colada on the beach. Probably one where you challenged yourself a bit.
HER: Haha yes… Being stuck in France. Not speaking a word of the language. Out of money
ME: Sounds like a good story. Do tell.
Ok
*Let’s review.*
See how the convo is naturally flowing?
After she told me about her time in France I told her about my first time in Brazil. Even told her a crazy story about a wild Brazilian I met named Jaqui. Told her that story to get a little ‘sexual’- get her juices flowing a bit.
It worked. Alway does 馃檪
(I’ll share that story with you in a few weeks when I know you better. It’s a good one 馃檪
We talked about the feeling of being “lost on this entirely different continent. How it almost brings you back to your childhood. When things were still new. You still had that desire to explore.”
We took the conversation from “Do you live in the city?” to the both of us sharing details about our most adventurous vacations.”
———————————–Golden Nugget———————-
The trick to being a good talker is to keep your ears open for “hooks”.
A hook is something she says that you can use to extend the conversation.
Pay attention to her. You’ll start noticing dozens of these “Hooks.”
In the example earlier, she told me she just moved from Iowa she gave me three hooks.
(1. Leaving Iowa, 2. arriving in NY, 3. her first month here)
Each hook she gives you can use to relate and connect.
The best way to handle a “hook” and use it to “connect” with her is to relate it back to her.
Here’s an example from the earlier conversation:
ME: What was your most adventurous vacation?
HER: It was this time in France when I was dead broke, didn’t speak the language and was wondering around Paris for two days alone.
ME: SO you must have felt both the thrill and fear of complete anonymity. So what does one do when they know no one will find out?
See what I did?
I acknowledged the “emotion” she must have been feeling.
This simple acknowledgment lets her know that:
1. I was listening to her.
2. That I was able to empathize and understand her.
3. That I was generally curious to know what she did.
Once you’ve acknowledged what she has given you it’s alright to relate a story back yourself.
Because now you’re on the same playing field. She knows you’re not “superficially” trying to relate.
Women know these things. Trust me.
——————————/Golden Nugget—————————
Use this conversational strategy on all women.
She’ll quickly feel a real intense connection.
In the meantime, if you are like I was you might need more in-depth training on this.
I put out a program last year. Meant entirely for guys who don’t know how to keep a convo going. Run out of shit to stay. Look stupid in front of the girl.
Bonus Technique: “The Strawberry Fields Routine”
This is one of the most popular and requested “conversation routines”. This is a routine Jon Sinn teaches, where you get a woman to open up to “sexually” using a cold read. This is SUPER FUN and any of my students who have tried it have loved the results it got them.
Click here to watch video and get PDF
Trust me, conversation skills is NOT something you want to skimp out on.
There’s no faking a lack of it.
Make it happen!
Bobby Rio
P.S. Now you know 2 parts of the TRIANGLE. Fun and connection.
What’s left?
That’s right “Sexuality”. If you can’t inject sexual feelings into a conversation you’ll never be more than a “friend.”
In two days we get there. But tomorrow you are going to learn how to tell if a girl is into you.
Previous Lesson: Day 14
{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi,
Just read Day #15: Creating “Connection” in Conversation. I know you are trying to create open loops when you did not disclose the Brazilan story, however, in this lesson, it would have been more helpful if you provided the story as a part of the lesson for better learning.
I can have great conversations with women, doesn’t get me anywhere. You say look for the “hook”, well if I knew what that was it just might work. Date rape drugs might work better.
Thanks for The Conversations Makeover Bobby Rio you evil lady killer genius!!!
Great stuff-thanks! Wish I had found this 40 years ago…
I do like the information, even though allot of it is a sales pitch from one program to the next. Which is fine, your trying to run a business. I am very grateful for showing me were I “lost it” at. I used to do most all these concepts subconsciously. And now I can do them consciously thank Bobby.
Hey Bobby, I actually bought Conversation Escalation a while back, but when I access my ClickBank receipt, it says the link to access the product has expired. Is this normal? How do I re-access the product when it states that I purchased it?
Hey mate some good stuff in this programme but I seem to be missing half of it, there is at least 15 days missing from this better game programme in my inbox. Checked my junk mail but nothing there either, can send them to me coz I think they will prob be important. The days are 3,11,16,17,18,20 to 29 ive got 30 but not 31. Cheers
Wish I could get this,but don’t have$27.00.
hi bobby your programme are really a great insight. but can you help me with the mp3. i am not able to play it. i tien reloading many times but its not playing please help.
Good Job. The newsletters have been absolutely amazing so far and I sincerely thank you for them. My questions are actually on the side. I have an apartment mate that was definitely into me for about three weeks so much so I have very real opportunities to have sex with her (all thanks to following your tips and advice). However I neglected to ”close the deal” out of jealousy. You see she was still having sex from time to time with her ex (and maybe with one or two other guys) to my knowledge and I always freeze when she gave me opportunity for sex (yeah I know I messed up big time). Anyway she seems to hate me now and constantly complains about everything. My question is, is it possible to make her come around and like me enough to have sex with me again? I know the 30 days rule but since we stay together, I am not sure that can be applied here. Secondly how can I deal with the problem of ”freezing” when I am with a lady giving me all the hints? while I am fairly good with opening ladies and sustaining their interest, sometime I just cant seem to make the move to get the sex (sigh) when I am alone with them.. Thanks so much for your response
Dear Boby
Useful tips agree to your comments/suggestions
I feel if one has money in his pocket. he can have lot of fun with girls
money mattrrs a lot
thanks. Regards
Great Advice listen and grab the hook
Well how do you know what she is feeling? when she tell you
HER: It was this time in France when i was dead broke, didn鈥檛 speak the language and was wondering around Paris for two days alone.
I mean I know how she feel, but I don’t really know to describe it into word.
You: SO you must have felt both the thrill and fear of complete anonymity. So what does one do when they know no one will find out?
And what do you mean by the last statement: So what does one do when they know no one will find out?
Bobby, thanks so much for the time you put into teaching us it is all very helpful. I am not awful at talking with girls but alwys get put in the frien zone can you help me man. also do you go over texting i feel like thats one of the harderst parts
Hey guys,
A great place to practice is the strip club! It’s the girls job to approach you so you don’t have to worry about that. They’ve heard it all also, so if you sound different than every other doush that goes there you can get numbers and work on your game. Believe me it WORKS!!! It’s very refreshing to them to talk to someone who’s not telling them how hot they are and asking to bang em. Try it!!!
I’m loving it
it worked like magic.thanks alot bobby.
Hey Bobbie
First i want to thank you for your work it has helped me and my friends a lot. how do i comment to something she said (when she talks too much)without being rude by interrupting her
My live chat with the girl how is it goin on analize it bobby, it can be gud example for all of us to know our mistakes.
Ankur Lodhi did one bite you
about an hour ago 路 Like
Heather Parsons lol… no there daddy long legs
about an hour ago 路 Like
Ankur Lodhi dont tell me ur scared of spiders…!!
about an hour ago 路 Like
Heather Parsons Ha yes i am…. nothing should have 8 legs and look like crawling hair lol
58 minutes ago 路 Like
Ankur Lodhi haha i am not scared of them but i dont realy them ,,
55 minutes ago 路 Like
Ankur Lodhi they are like bad… althought spiderman is a gud supre hero
55 minutes ago 路 Like 路 1 person
Ankur Lodhi what about you, which superhero u like,
52 minutes ago 路 Like
Ankur Lodhi here is what u do next time u c a spider .!! crush it.!!
47 minutes ago 路 Like
Heather Parsons Ummm… lol ha super man i guess ?
47 minutes ago 路 Like
Ankur Lodhi ooh yes I wish I had X-ray vision like superman.. life would have been so interesting….
realy.. i can bet on it.
45 minutes ago 路 Like 路 1 person
Ankur Lodhi what would you like to be if you get the power a super hero..
35 minutes ago 路 Like
Heather Parsons lol mind reading ha
32 minutes ago 路 Like
Ankur Lodhi ooh no !! I am very wicked right now please dont read my mind..
and beware my thoughts can infect your thoughts as well..
30 minutes ago 路 Like
Heather Parsons Uhh… ok
29 minutes ago 路 Like
Ankur Lodhi but I would realy need your help if you had that superpower, U could help me getting a nice chick, falling in love with me.
22 minutes ago 路 Like 路 1 person
Ankur Lodhi you are cheerleader right..
21 minutes ago 路 Like
Heather Parsons yaa
12 minutes ago 路 Like
Ankur Lodhi hmmm i thought cheerleading girls were a bit dumb but here you are u have a fantastic personality..
10 minutes ago 路 Like
Heather Parsons Hahaha :p i have my blonde moments trust me lol
7 minutes ago 路 Like
Ankur Lodhi hhahaha…thats fine everyone screws up sometime, it’s just they have given a tag to blond girls,
5 minutes ago 路 Like 路 1 person
Ankur Lodhi what was your most exciting blond moment.
5 minutes ago 路 Like
hey i just wanted to say i think these tips are great. im 19 and i dont have a problem meetin girls but i feel this really gives me a edge even more so then guys my age lol. . thanx
Just had a bit of an ah-ha moment with this one Bob, cheers dude!!!
Hey Bobby. I had big disapoitment today… It happened at my work. This is what happened. There is one hot girl that I’m flirting and when I came to work today she was standing with two of my coleges and one more averege chick in a group talking. I’ve approached her from behind and put my hands on her shoulders saing her “look at me”… When she turned I looked in her eyes and say to her “you look like you need a little massage” (with a right kind of tone). She just turned back to them and fucking said nothing to me… Just blowed me away in front of everybody.
Thing is I never wanted to say this, but there is some kind of blocade I’m experiencing when I want to talk to beautyfull girls.
I think that I’m just naturally stupid to talk with hot chiks and I wish that in the rest of this “31 days” program will be some serious material and examples that will change my game a little so I will get her into my bed.
Bobby my man please help me with some opening line for the next time I see her, I want to give another try on her.
P.S. Sorry for my english and thanks in advance.
Nice application of Ross Jeffries’ incredible connection pattern by using NLP and giving her embedded commands. However, a lot of women do flake, even if they gave you her number AT THE TIME.
Asking For A Date? You鈥檙e Already Too Late
http://www.seduction.com/blog/asking-for-a-date-youre-already-too-late/
Hey bobbie i have a question man whats some things i can say to a girl who is at my house watching a movie to turn her on within minutes please help this is what i struggle with
Hey bobby just wanted to say thanks for the free information this stuff is gold I have read 8 or 9 pua books spent hours a day on websites and forums even bought an app for my phone but the stuff you share for free is real I will be buying the escalation program when I get through the 31 days I’m very excited to see what the program has to offer
p.s. we’re in 2 different time zones so thats why i commented late
Hey Bobby first i’d like to say that your work is genius! Everything you say makes everything easier for me to meet women, and i’m only half way through. Anyway, I was thinking to show my little brother this or explaining some things to him, and I was listening to the mp3 link and you were talking about building imediate (sorry im sure i spelled it wrong) rapport. The Drunk I love U is a good one, but for my little brother (hes 15) what would be a good conversation to jump into?
hey Chase… Amplify the Attraction is very focused on just 5 core elements of building attraction… teasing, ecalation, push//pull, social intelligence, and passion… and there is also a module on playing “the game” to keep a woman interested once you attract her..
Conversation Escalation is much more about the art of flirtatious conversation… it covers things like banter, rapport, flirting, and keeping a conversation going…
Amplify is more structured as it teaches an attraction trigger then gives excercices and examples.. it is more of a beginner’s course, as it teaches the core basics…. Conversation Escalation is geared towards guys who haven’t mastered the art of flirting and keeping a convo interetsed.
Hey again Bobbie – Once again I’m deeply impressed by your work. You make it so easy to relate and dont sound like some sales jerk. I’m buying one of your products, maybe both but I’m not sure which to get. So far I see you have two: Conversation Escalation and amplify the attraction. Can you please briefly break down each product. Right now I’m decent at talking to people, but lack structure and content.
Thanks Rio!
Nice golden nugget. I like the idea of hooks. That’s gonna help me out a lot, I know it.