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Posted April 6, 2010
This Thursday many of you may watch golf on television for the first time. As a fan of golf on television, the Masters is a singular experience. It?s not the Super Bowl, the World Series or the Olympics that make me crave a high definition television; it?s the Masters.
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Posted April 1, 2010
And now, another exciting installment of “Drunk/Sober/High”, in which the author experiences the same event after first being drunk, then sober, and finally high. Enjoy! The Final Four is set and this year?s NCAA tournament is drawing to a close. Two more nights and we?ll finally be able to say which school has surreptitiously paid
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Posted March 30, 2010
I could open this essay with ?The New Year is about to begin,? and explain how my Opening Day analogy has more depth than most by likening the NCAA Tournament to Christmas season, the Oscars to Thanksgiving and the Masters as Martin Luther King?s birthday, but you can see the analogy falls apart rather quickly.
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Posted March 25, 2010
On my recent trip to Las Vegas, my friends introduced me to something at the Planet Hollywood casino that I had not been aware of before: The Pleasure Pit. At this location, not only do you get to gamble, but also every dealer is a woman dressed delightfully skimpy clothing. Above and beyond that, there
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Posted March 23, 2010
This is the first in a series of explorations on what is your ideal situation, depending on whether you’re drunk, sober, or high. Every once in a while, it happens. You can?t help it, but don?t worry, it?s the same for all of us. We eventually end up home alone with our Netflix DVDs en
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Posted March 18, 2010
As Jon Stewart recently proved, Chatroulette will fade once all the penises and reporters vanish. Then it will become as cool as hanging out at Applebee?s or using Friendster. But, there?s still the possibility of boobies and piano improvisation. So, how can you be a voyeur looking for a bit of entertainment between the 5:10
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Posted March 16, 2010
We’ve all been there. You have a big queasy going-on in your stomach and you’re barreling down the road at ninety miles an hour thinking you have to be close to the next exit. Finally, lights and eighty-foot signs appear around the bend and you know that relief is within your clenched grasp. But, which
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Posted March 11, 2010
(Read Part I here) ?Welcome to Hollywood!? ? Ronald King I approach the first barker I see that?s advertising Hollywood tours. Once he sees he doesn?t have to do any selling for me, he turns on the tour guide and points out the Famous Walk of Fame! The Famous Egyptian Theater! The Famous Pig and
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Posted March 10, 2010
Omnipresent helicopters swirl loudly above my apartment as I wake up and start to grasp the reason everyone is invading my neighborhood: The Oscars. This is going to be a long day. ?The best night in the world to be in Hollywood.? ? Ronald King I start the day with a Rice Krispie treat and
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Posted March 8, 2010
There?s another sign reading ?Boobs please.? There must truly be something about fresh boobs. I mean, porn is what made the internet truly take off. Porn is everywhere. Yet, along comes a site where you can chat with anyone around the world? And there?s a penis? I suppose I shouldn?t wax poetic about the magic
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Posted March 4, 2010
Trust me. Eventually you’ll end up in one of the great European capitals of the world. Don’t have a passport? Trust me, eventually you’ll end up in one of the great American cities. No? Ok, at some point you’ll end up in Florida. You’ll wake up, look at the clock, look at your girlfriend, look
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