25 Random Things About Me by the Octo-Mom

Note: After utilizing one of my sources, I was able to land my first exclusive for TSB Magazine: access to the Facebook account of Nadya Suleman, known in certain circles as the Octo-Mom. While I only had access for a few minutes before her account was shut down, that was enough time to copy-and-paste her list of 25 Random Things about herself, which is below for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

Without further adieu, my 25 Random Things! 🙂

1. I really don't like babies at all.

2. I don't like ?em. I love ?em! You know how they say eight is enough? It's not. Fourteen isn't even enough. Maybe somewhere around the mid-40s or so is enough. Then again, maybe it's not.

3. I'll finally admit it: I think Angelina Jolie is the greatest actress of not only this generation, but every generation since the beginning of time!

4. With that said, even I didn't like Changeling.

5. Or Alexander.

6. Or The Bone Collector. More like The Bore Collector! Because it collects bores! Get it?

7. I have seen three penises during my life. The first was my father's, when he stepped out of the shower at the wrong time. The second was my first husband's. The third, and best of the three, was Bruce Willis in Striking Distance.

8. My favorite NBA player is Shawn Kemp.

9. My favorite NFL player is Travis Henry. Easily. [

10. I know I've been asking for donations on my website, but what I'd really like, more than anything, is a few gallons of coconut oil. I have a few stretch marks I need to get un-stretched.

11. Let me officially put it to rest: There is no truth to the rumor that I have so many kids because I predict the current economic downturn will eventually force people to resort to cannibalism, making these fleshy young ones worth a decent amount of scratch.

12. That said, even though it's not true, I'd be kinda interested in seeing what kind of money they'd bring in. So if you want to send me a hypothetical quote, just for fun, please contact my lawyer.

13. I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis. And usually eight at a time.

14. The solution to the Palestinian-Israel conflict is a simple one: Babies for everyone!

15. You know what would have made Hitler less of a grumpy goose? A baby!

16. If a disaster ever befalls America's dairy industry, the government has designated my bosoms as our country's source of milk until we get the plants back online. They buy us about six months time.

17. I hope to God this High School Musical fad passes before these latest eight grow up. If I have to watch that motherfucker Zak Efron and that cunt Vanessa Hudgens sing and dance one more time, I'm going to throw Kid #6 out the window.

18. Now's probably a good time to mention my feelings towards Kid #6: I don't like him. He's kind of a prick. However, I love all of the others equally.

19. Oh, except Kid #8. She's my favorite out of them all. Why? Let's just say orgasmic childbirth is real.

20. If I wanted, I could push a bowling ball through my cervix without touching the sides. Gentlemen, I'm still single!

21. I really hope Kate picks Sawyer over Jack. That Jack's such a cry-baby!

22. I've said it before and I'll say it again: It's time to get rid of the DH in the American League. Bunch of pussy pitchers in that league.

23. I'll be honest: I've never fully grasped the string theory portion of quantum physics. I get the rest of it, but that's just over my head I guess.

24. When the doctor gave me my first baby to hold, I thought he felt a little squishy, but I knew right from the start I loved him with all of my heart. It wasn't until later that I found out the doctor gave me the placenta as a practical joke.

25. Currently, if I yell my name into my vagina, it echoes fourteen times!