Transform Your Inner Critic Into Your Inner Coach

This next article is part of an ongoing series here at TSB Magazine called The Success Principles. The series is based on the 64 principles laid out by Jack Canfield in his course of the same name. If youre new, I always suggest starting any series from the beginning.

Principle 32:  Transform Your Inner Critic Into Your Inner Coach

If successfully implemented this next principle can be life changing by itself.  We discussed throughout this series on the impact of positive self talk, affirmation, goal setting, and focus.  We know how much our actions and beliefs are affected by these thoughts, and how these very thoughts ultimately affect whether or not we are successful in life.  We know that negative thoughts are what cause us to go into slumps, freeze up, develop anxiety, feel scared- and to the extreme ruin our lives.

If each one of us had to be 100% honest with ourselves I think we would each find that we possess certain thoughts that are keeping us from getting what we want.  The fact is, we are often our own biggest and harshest critic  It is our own voice, inside our own head, that often tells us we are a fake, a failure, destined to blow it, or gives us some other negative label that limits what we are capable of.

Talk to Yourself Like a Winner

Canfield asks:

So what if you could learn to always talk to yourself like a winner instead of a loser? What if you could transform your negative self talk into positive self talk?  What if you could silence your thoughts of lack and limitation and replace them with thoughts of unlimited possibility?  What if you could transform your inner critic, who judges your every move, into a supportive inner coach who would encourage you and give you confidence as you faced new situations and risks?  Well… all of that is possible with a little awareness, focus, and intention.

In my review of the final episode of The Pickup Artist Season 2 I talked about how the show’s winner, Simeon, had developed an extraordinary confidence that carried him to victory.  But Simeon wasn’t always like that.  In fact, I remember feeling sorry for Simeon in one of the early episodes because his self image seemed so low.  What changed in Simeon?

The biggest change Simeon made was that he changed the way he was talking to himself.  By the end of the season he was talking to himself like a winner. He was his own greatest coach.

How do you do this?

The key to dealing with any kind of negative thinking is to realize that you re ultimately in charge of whether to listen to or agree with any thought.Just because you think it- or hear it-doesn’t mean it’s true.

Canfield says:

You want to constantly ask yourself, is this thought helping me or hurting me?  Is it getting me closer to action, or is it blocking me with fear and self doubt? You have to learn to challenge and talk back to the thoughts that are not serving you in creating greater success and happiness.

Here are some cold hard facts:

You can attempt to predict a catastrophic event all you want… but you’ll be wrong way more often then you are right.  Statistic show, the worse rarely happens.

You are not a mind reader  No matter what kind of insight you believe you have into someone else’s mind… you are most likely wrong. So why waste time trying to figure it out.

You can never guilt yourself into doing anything.  Instead of saying “If I don’t lose weight I’m a failure” say something like “Losing weight will support my goal of looking more attractive and feeling healthier.”

No one is a label.  By putting a label on yourself or someone else you are essentially playing God.  You are not god.

Do not personalize things aren’t personal  If a girl blows you off in a bar… that was just her reaction to a random guy hitting on her.  If you lose an account at work… that was just a client making a decision to go with someone else. You never know why other people do what they do.

Instead of wasting time on these pointless thoughts listed above, use your mind to constructively solve problems in your life.  Don’t say “I’m broke.” Instead say “What are some good ways to make some extra money?”  Don’t say “I’m just meant to be fat.” Instead say “What is a good workout routine I can begin to get into peak shape?”

Ask better questions.  You will get better results.