Dating The Bookish Girl

Advice on how to approach and date an intellectual woman

Sexiness comes in a variety of forms. The hottest girl in the room need not be the most sociable and charismatic: she need not be made up, dolled up, and dressed to the nines. Sometimes the girl with that perfect combination of hair, skin, breasts, and buttocks is the one who is quiet and discrete: the girl who makes it a point of keeping away from the noise and conversation so that she can lose herself between the pages of a book.

You have no doubt seen them. The bookish girls, I mean. They are not all homely frumps. Some of them are very attractive. You know what to say to a girl who is part of the pack and out for drinks. But the girl who spends most of her time alone with her eyes in a book is an enigma to you. She does not seem as approachable. She does not, like the conventional out-about-town girl, make eyes at the attractive men who pass her by. There seems to be no opening, no opportunity for you to flirt with her.

Every woman is approachable. Even the bookish girl wants company, companionship, and sex. And it is up to you to make her see that you are the one for her. It is possible for you to chat up and date a bookish girl. But you have to go about it in a certain way.

Here are a few tips:

Do not disturb her reading

The fastest way to end any chance you may have with her is to go up to her while she is reading. Men tend to think that a woman who is alone with a book in her hand is begging for attention, and wants to be spoken to and flirted with. Just the opposite is the case. They really do want to be left alone to read. Interrupting her while she is reading is a rude and selfish act. No amount of subsequent charm will reduce her feeling of annoyance and frustration if you do this.

You?ve got to approach her when she is not reading. The bookish are people of habit. They choose a few places to go to both read and socialize. If she reads in a particular place, you can be sure she goes to the same place to meet friends or to have a drink. You must catch her at a time when she does not have a book in her hand and seems most intent on recreating herself with drink and talk. That is the moment to move in.

Take some interest in what she reads

Bookish girls do not go exclusively for bookish guys. She may like you for other reasons. And if you have managed to score a first date, she will probably want to keep the conversation general. But on the second or third date she will begin to turn to the topic of primary interest to her: books. You have to be yourself of course. If you are not bookish, don?t pretend to be. In other words, don?t try to show off knowledge that you don?t have. You will look like an idiot. And there will be no more dates, and certainly no nookie.

But you have to take some interest in what she loves most. Read one or two of the books she mentions, and tell her what you think of them. There is no one right response to a book. She will appreciate an honest and intelligent opinion, even if it is at odds with her own.

Share with her some of your interests

If she likes you, she will want to know about and share in some of your interests. She may not take up everything you?re into, and you should not push her to do so. If, for example, you are an outdoor person she may be interested in doing some of the easier and less arduous activities that you are involved in. She may agree to a short camping trip or something of that sort. Your main aim should be to get her to see you at your best. She will come to respect and like you even more afterward.