10 Fashion Don’ts

Confused with the various expressions of fashion and style you see when you’re hitting up the nightlife. It is easy to get fooled into believing something is stylish just because you see fifteen tool bags rocking the same thing. But there are certain universal rules when it comes to fashion.

1. Don’t unbutton your shirt too far

I don’t care how much time you’ve been spending in the gym, or how long it took you to finally grow that chest hair, except when you’re strolling on the beach, it is never acceptable to leave your house with your shirt unbuttoned to the navel.

2. Don’t wear denim shirts

Unless you work on a farm, or are auditioning to be the next Marlboro Man you should throw out any denim shirts that you might have lying around your closet. Denim shirts are not the kind of thing you buy, they are the kind of gift you get from a clueless aunt. Don’t worry about hurting her feelings. Chuck them.

3. Don’t wear Oakleys

Unless you’re heading to watch a Nascar Race, Oakleys will just make you look completely eighties. And if you absolutely must wear Oakleys, never ever wear them with Croakies.

4. Don’t wear pants that are too tight

Unless you are a biker or a rock star, you should never wear pants that show off your bulge. It is not sexy. It is creepy and makes you look like the weird clueless uncle.

5. Don’t wear square-toe shoes

The moment for these shoes passed years ago, and you are probably not cool enough to bring them back.

6. Don’t wear athletic sneakers anywhere but the gym

If you’re capable of playing a game of basketball in them, you probably shouldn’t wear them out. Any type of cross trainers, basketball shoes, or New Balance fit this list.

7. Don’t wear t-shirts with logos or slogans

Unless it is a legitimate vintage t-shirt, and your name is Johnny Knoxville you probably don’t want to wear a a shirt with a slogan like “Vote for Pedro” or “I’m Friends with Tom on Myspace.” This is not to say that t-shirts can’t be cool. They just have to be the vintage type… not the mock vintage type they sell in Kohls.

8. Don’t tuck a shirt into jeans

Pull it out old man. Whoever taught you this was cool was clearly clueless.

9. Don’t wear white socks with shoes

You could be wearing a five hundred dollar pair of shoes, be spitting the best game in the world… the minute a woman sees you wearing white socks with shoes you’ve been exposed as a chump. Sorry.

10. Don’t wear leather bomber jackets

They are just not as cool as you think they are. Leather jackets are fine. But if its got the fruffy collar, chuck it.