When she tries to set you up with her friends

“You’re such a good guy, you would be perfect for my friend…”

What does it mean when your crush tries to get you a date? with someone else?

There is a distinction between meeting a girl at a club, only for her to say that her friend is interested in you; and having a female friend that you are crushing on attempt to set you up on dates with her friends. Get advice on the first situation here. This article deals with the second situation, in which you already have an established friendship, and have maybe even made your intentions clear.

She?s not interested

Think it through. A woman with the slightest amount of interest in you is not going to sabotage her own chances by creating competition. Hopefully, she sees you as a good friend and is just trying to help out. However, it is more likely that?

She wants you to back off

Your crush is not trying to set you up with a friend of hers out of the goodness of your heart. It certainly is not because she wants to share you with a friend. By saying she knows someone who would be good for you, she is telling you to stop making advances on her. It is an extremely strong hint that she is not interested.

You may wonder why she is using veiled language, and maybe even going to the trouble of putting you in touch with her eligible bachelorette friend, when she could just tell you she is not interested. Chances are, she has already tried to tell you. Think back to your interactions- it is likely that she has been signalling her disinterest, and you have not been getting the message.

Should you take her up on her offer?

You may as well go on a blind date with her friend, but there is one complication: her friend might not exist. She could have made up the idea of setting you up with someone, just to get you to stop pursuing her. Suss out the situation by asking questions about the friend she has in mind. Unless she is an exceptionally good liar, you will quickly realise that she has invented the friend as a decoy.

She may actually have a lady friend (or even a few friends) in mind; in this case, provided you are moderately attracted to her friend, you have nothing to lose by going for her. You do not have a chance with the woman you were crushing on.

Now the situation facing you changes: how do you go on a date with her friend without making it weird? First off, make sure the friend is on board. Tell her that you would be willing to give her friend a go, and ask her to ask her friend if it is okay to pass on her number. This may seem convoluted, but you will have a much better chance than if you ask for her friend?s number and start texted away. By running the idea past her friend first, she can put in a good word for you.

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