Using Craigslist to Overcome Approach Anxiety

The social site offers a glimpse into the female perspective

The best way to is to understand that women aren’t as unreceptive to being approached as many dating newbies tend to believe. To prove this point, here is a series of postings from Craigslist’s “Missed Connections” section, in which women attempt to reach out to men they met briefly, or saw but didn’t get to talk to:

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A long time ago, Mystery, star of VH1’s The Pickup Artist, made a big deal about indicators of interest (or IOIs), a term he coined referring to hair flicks, smiling, and other little things women sometimes do when they’re interacting with, or seeking the attention of, guys they like.

But the problem with IOIs and teaching men to lookout for them is that they won’t always be present. You know how sometimes you end up ignoring the women you like the most to avoid seeming overeager? A lot of women are the same way around men they like. The difference is, as a man, it’s your job to take the initiative to start a conversation.

Also, as a holder of a communication degree, I can tell you that a woman will sometimes smile and act flirty out of social obligation, not necessarily because she’s attracted to whomever those gestures are directed. Basically, just because she seems indifferent toward you doesn’t mean she’s not interested, and just because she seems interested doesn’t mean she really is. The only way for you to find out is to approach and see where it goes.