Getting Her Number On OkCupid (With Screenshots)

Here’s an example of how to get a woman’s phone number on OkCupid, and what to do if you encounter resistance.

Use trial and error to come up with your own openers. Hang on to the ones that generate about a 30 percent response rate, and throw out or modify the ones that fall short.

Once she replies, raise her buying temperature:

Avoid asking questions, especially if you’re only asking them because you don’t know what else to say. When you communicate with someone you’re familiar and comfortable with, whether it’s a friend or work colleague, your dialogue mostly consists of statements. In an online dating context (or when you’re speaking with a woman you just met in person) statements, rather than a barrage of questions, help forge a stronger initial rapport.

But a lot of men tend to ask question after question (whether online or in person) as a lazy way to get women to say something. But if you can’t come up with statements that compel women to respond, you need to work on being a better conversationalist.

You can ask for the number after successfully raising her buying temperature. In this example, she responds by offering a little token resistance:

When you encounter the sort of lighthearted resistance shown above, it’s important to respond in an equally lighthearted way. Too logical of a reply could make it appear as if you’re objectifying the number (which is a quality of the type of ‘player’ who repels women more efficiently than he gets them).

And, if she refuses you her number the first time you ask, acknowledge her objection without directly asking for her number a second time. Neutralize her objection in a playful way:

Had she responded without giving her number, I would exchange a few more messages aimed at building comfort/raising buying temperature before asking for her number again. You don’t want it to seem as if your only objective is getting her number.