Getting A Date On OkCupid (With Screenshots)

Every message you send in your online dating interactions should fall into at least one of three categories: raising buying temperature, determining logistics and setting the date. Your first few messages will typically raise buying temperature, and possibly determine logistics as well, while later messages will focus more on determining logistics and then setting the date.

If you send a message that doesn’t fall into one (or more) of those three categories, then your messaging will lack purpose and keep you from getting the results you want.

In this example, I used one of my best online dating openers in terms of response rate: Omg we both like x, y and z! Will you marry me? (X, y and z are each something we have in common based on the information in our profiles).

You can ask for her number as soon as you successfully raise her buying temperature, as I have done up to this point. Or, if you want, you can continue exchanging messages on OkCupid through the setting the date phase and then get her number; however, sometimes girls delete their profiles abruptly amid barrages of profane, sexually explicit messages from countless other men, leaving you no way to contact her. So it’s generally best to get her number as early as possible.

For the first text, I prefer to use some kind of callback or continuation?to something we’ve messaged about, that way she knows it’s me and I can avoid the boring Hey this is Luke from OkCupid opening text that every other guy uses:

Every message I’ve sent up until mentioning a date has fallen under the buying temperature category. To?parlay that buying temperature into a first date, I have to determine logistics. The two most important ones to address (and ideally the only ones you’ll have to address) are whether she’s willing to meet you in person (many women are iffy about?going on a date with a guy they met online)?and, if so, when she’s free.

In my example, I know she’s probably willing to meet me in person when she responds “… I think you’re right” to my suggestion of a first date. The next step is to find out when she’s free:

From this point, it’s a matter of?setting the date by coordinating the day, time and place and navigating around whatever logistical obstacles she might bring up. But once she’s verbally indicated that she’s willing to go on a date, the heavy lifting is over.