Clothing That Will Get You Laid

Sometimes all you need is to be in the right place, at the right time, wearing the right sweater to get lucky. There are some key pieces that every man should own and make use of as secret weapons to get the girl.

The sweater

A fuzzy sweater is an easy way to make your lady of choice fall into your warm, woolly arms. Women never wear enough clothes so as to impress men like you- hence women are always cold and need to borrow your sweater. One that?s not itchy, not too big so she won?t be drowning in it, and not daggy will be a godsend to a shivering woman. Bonus points if it is in a current season color. Just remember to actually offer it to her rather than gloat about how warm you are in your sweater while she endures frostbite.

The cardigan

It?s far easier to remove a button-up cardigan than a sweater, which needs to go over your head and runs the risk of ruining your hair. A stylish cardigan has far more personality than a sweater, and your girlfriend will accept it with less protesting than for accepting a sweater.

The snapback hat

A hat is easily transferable from one head to another. Wearing a cap is just begging to be flirted with. Women love taking off guys? hats and teasing that they won?t give it back. To that end, you?re better off wearing snapbacks with no sentimental value just in case she disappears with your hat.

The tie

Again, you make yourself a target for flirting by wearing a tie. A long, skinny tie is just so easy to grab. Women will play with your tie and use it to pull you in for a kiss. The only possible disadvantage to wearing a tie is you might be flirted with by women who aren?t your type- and you?ll be entirely helpless while they?re holding you by the tie.

The baggy tee shirt

She?ll need clothes for the morning after, right? A baggy tee shirt or singlet top (presumably baggy on her but not you) will do the trick. The top needs to be fairly generic, with no stupid slogan or logo. Worst of all are the naked woman print tee shirts- send your girl home in one of these and her walk of shame will reach a whole new level of indignity. While we?re on the topic of clothes for the morning after, if you?re on the small side, a pair of your skinny jeans might just fit your conquest. It would be considerate of you to let her get into your pants the morning after she got into your pants.

Clothes that she can?t borrow

Some items are too personal to lend out. Rather than improving your odds with your lady of choice, lending her a sweaty shirt or a pair of smelly socks will decimate your chances. Even wearing these items will wreck your game if she notices. Dirty clothing will never, ever get you laid.