When She Wants Commitment
You like her, but you don?t want to get too involved. What do you do if she wants to get serious?
It?s not like you don?t want to date her. You have fun together and there?s a strong mutual attraction, so of course you don?t want to throw that away. But you don?t want to be together forever either.
If you?re still at a stage where you?re seeing other women, it?s best to be upfront about it. It would be a nasty surprise if you?ve hidden your other dates from her, and she catches you out.
It?s not fair for her to expect commitment from you if that?s not what you want, but you also have to tell her what you do want. You can?t just let her assume that you want to be in a serious relationship with her.
If she brings up the topic of your future together, be honest with her. You may have to deal with her being pissed off that you don?t want to spend your foreseeable future together, but better that than have her start planning your wedding.
Telling her you?re not sure what you want yet is fine if she?s at all reasonable. But don?t give her false hope and tell her that you might want to settle down with her later on, when you?re absolutely sure you won?t. It will just backfire on you later, and she?s sure to nag you to start committing more if she has the idea you might want to.
When she finds out that you don?t want a serious relationship, she may think it?s best if you stop seeing each other. And if she?s in a rush to settle down, then she shouldn?t waste any more time on someone who won?t commit.
But if you?re enjoying each other?s company, then there?s no reason why you should stop dating. Tell her that you do enjoy being with her, but that?s all you want for now- but it?s up to her whether or not she?s content with no commitment.
Have you noticed her toothbrush appear in your bathroom and her clothes starting to live in your wardrobe? She may be trying to stealth her way into living with you. By leaving her stuff in your home, she is marking her territory in a way– just be glad she doesn?t do it the way animals do! Seriously though, if you?d prefer to keep your relations with her more casual, then make it clear her stuff doesn?t belong in your house. When she leaves her belongings, place them near your door. Next time she?s leaving your place, remind her that she accidentally left some of her things and hand them to her. She will have no choice but take them. It?s important you put them in a convenient location- if she?s about to leave and you remind her that her hair straightener is in your bathroom, she might tell you that she?ll just collect it next time. Then she never will, and before you know it you will be accidentally living with her.
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/