Mystery Method OAP 8
This is the 8th issue of the Mystery Method OAP
The Mystery Method Approach by The Mystery MethodÂ
Hey guys,
Congratulations! You’re about to graduate from the first phase of the Mystery MethodTM Online Apprenticeship Program (OAP).
Before we move on, I want to leave you with a couple of parting thoughts. These are things that we often see students do wrong in their first couple approaches of the first night at our bootcamps . . . in other words, common first mistakes that men make when trying to integrate the material. At the bootcamp, we’re right there and can fix this within a few minutes and then find the next set of sticking points, but through email you might be stuck there forever. So I thought this would be useful:
Be Louder — Err on the side of being too loud than too quiet, especially in noisy venues. In any group you approach, every member of the group should be able to hear you comfortably. Vocal muscles are like any other muscle. You need to work them out. They will tire and become sore. And then your body will repair them to be stronger and more effective.
Improvise — Canned material is fine, but don’t make it a crutch. You should never leave a conversation because you “ran out of things to say”. Improvise. Try something — anything! Even “so, uhhh, where are you from” is better than wandering off. You may not come up with the next spectacular line right away, but your subconscious will be thinking about it. Stay in enough conversations without a safety net of canned material, and you’ll start to get really, really good.
Smile on the approach — You don’t have to keep your smile plastered on, but smile in the first 1-3 seconds when you first approach. This will make people, especially women, more open to you.
Stand up straight — If she can’t hear you, don’t lean in, just be louder. If you can’t hear her — who cares. At least for the first minute or two. Just continue with whatever you are talking about or start a new conversational thread. After a few minutes, or when you need to work in A3, then you can move her (or the group) somewhere quieter.
Be ‘normal’ and social — not a pickup shark — Don’t circle around the venue looking for your prey. Those guys are “losers” and women don’t want any part of them. Don’t stand side by side with your guy friend, intently watching everyone else, and then finally approaching a girl. Trust me, the girl saw you staring earlier. Instead, relax, be social, and have fun! Talk to guys, mixed groups, women you’re not attracted to, whomever is there. Apply the Mystery Method from within that framework. Oh, by the way, if you don’t find yourself successfully doing this, then make sure you go out a few times to the very same venues that you would use to meet women, but instead practice just being social and being part of the larger group. When you do this, don’t bother with the structure of the Mystery Method. Don’t pick up any women. Just talk, have fun, get comfortable with your surroundings, and meet people. Then go back and use your new social skills as a jumping off point for the 9 phases and your routines.
Use the 3 second rule (see OAP #2)
With a trained instructor, bypassing these and about a dozen more typical “new guy” mistakes can be accomplished quickly. By yourself, it may take a while, so be persistent and don’t lose faith. Remember — we were all in your shoes once. Every Mystery Method instructor was once a student. So we understand the road you’re on, and we want you to succeed.
Speaking of success, learning to be a Venusian Artist has often been compared to climbing a mountain. At first, you’re on the bottom and can only see the first crest. It looks like the top of the mountain, but you know it’s not. Kind of like – you see your first challenge, or sticking point, might be delivering good attraction material. Then you get that down, and you notice that your interactions with women are falling apart because of bad body language. You didn’t know you had improvement opportunities with your body language before, because you were getting blown out before that problem could surface. So that’s the next crest. And so on. Learning to be a Venusian Artist can be thought of in some ways as being a process of sequentially solving increasingly advanced sticking points.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.