Man Up and Own Up

It?s no coincidence that conspiracy theorists — you know, the ones who think all the moon landings were faked and the one dollar bill is full of occult symbols– tend to be the most socially awkward, unsuccessful, living-in-mom?s-basement sort of people.

It's NOT a conspiracy!

When you spend your life blaming others, rather than taking a good, hard luck at your delusional yourself, it?s no mystery why you?d end up going nowhere. When you play the victim and don?t take responsibility for your own actions, you set yourself up for failure (whether or not the government put a chip in your head).

My thoughts on conspiracy theories being as such, I was particularly troubled by a recent conversation I had with a good friend. Fresh out of college, he?s struggling to find a decent job. When I asked him how the whole job hunt was going, he told me he wasn?t having any luck, that it was almost like there was a conspiracy against him finding a job. Now, I know he was being over-dramatic (he?s a writer, after all), but there was a shred of actual desperation in his reply. I?ve got to say, it sucked to hear him say that. It wasn?t that his comment was annoying, it was that he?s a bright guy and there?s no reason why he should start playing the blame game before he?s married.

Whether you?re looking for a job or can?t seem to score a date, the only thing holding you back from achieving your goals is you (well, other than a crappy economy and an untreated BO situation). If you haven?t landed the job or as gotten as much as a ?Hello? from said girl yet, your first instinct shouldn?t be to blame others for the problem. That?s the easy way out. You don?t have to deal with improvement or keep trying when you can just wimp out and blame your problems on someone else. Perhaps you lost the job not because the company has it out for you, but because your interview skills are poor and/or your resume was full of typos. Perhaps that girl didn?t talk to you because you weren?t a good listener, not because she?s a she-devil bitch.

Do you want to be the dude in mom?s basement plotting out JFK?s assassination route and talking about the Illuminati ten years from now or do you want to be the man living large, out with the woman of your dreams discussing foreign films (okay, more like ?The Hangover Part 7?)? If you?re not ready to look at yourself in the mirror and make the necessary changes to get where you want to be, get ready for a pretty dismal existence. Start blaming others and you?ll eventually just stop trying. Why bother even looking for a job when you think you have no shot in hell?

Hang on to the fun conspiracy theories (like the one where our political leaders are a secret alien lizard race trying to take over the world) and cut out the ones that pertain to your success.Should the lizards take over, you?ll at least die knowing you tried.