Friday Fart Gadget News Day!

Well, this day certainly took a turn.

Originally, I was going to scour the Internet to find as many man-centric news stories as possible. These stories would cover everything from what kind of cologne to wear that will entice her, how to perform exercises in your sleep, obviously something about those Old Spice commercials, what kind of dog is best for you, and an essay asking aloud if there is such a thing as too many celebrity nip slips and up skirts. Unfortunately, today was not our day, as I was unable to find any of those articles on the old Intertubes. What I did find, however, was two stories from two different places about fart technology. And you know how the old saying goes: When life gives you lemons, post stories about fart gadgets.

The first one comes courtesy Gawker about a new kind of underwear that neutralizes farts. You stick a small, rolled up patch in your underwear and whenever you let ‘er rip, the patch collects any odors, meaning that those around you will not get blasted by your silent-but-deadlies. What’s that? You want an instructional video to show how it works?

Next up is from the glorious website Boing Boing, pointing us in the direction of a website that tells you how to create your own fart-operated remote control. The instructions are much too complex for me to delve into here, but here’s a photo of the unwieldy, yet amazing, gadget:

Ladies and gentlemen, SCIENCE!