Attention Men: Take Back Our Theaters!

This sucker’s been getting passed around the Internet more than Betty White’s sex tape (kidding! kidding! but, seriously, if you do have it, send it our way) but, as a man, I would be remiss to not at least mention it.

A fan (or a pre-fan, I guess, seeing as the movie’s not out yet) made the following “call to action” for all the men out there to take back our theaters on August 13th when “The Expendables” comes out. If not, then the fucking broads out there are going to win! No more “The Astronaut’s Wife”! More “The Astronaut’s Wife Fucking Blows Up The Moon”!

The fan-made trailer poses a good question. On August 13th, what is going to be the higher-grossing movie? “Eat, Pray, Love” or “The Expendables.” Looking at the two trailers (I’m not going to embed a trailer for “Eat, Pray, Love” mainly because I don’t want to add to any of the pussification of this website.) Now, really sit and think about the question for a moment. What’s more likely? For a moment, let’s forget about the couples out there who split up for the night and go to their own movies. Those folks cancel each other out. But let’s consider the folks out there who HAVE to see movies together. Will the female win out and get the man to see “Eat, Pray, Love”? Or will the man persuade the female to head out to “The Expendables”?

How about a shorter question instead: Who can go the longest without sex?

Hence, right now, I’m calling that the wussy “Eat, Pray, Love” wins out. But, as the plea above points out, YOU can change that!