The Kevin McCallister Home Security System: Just In Time For Christmas!

Do you unexpectedly find yourself HOME ALONE? Are you afraid of bandits invading your house and causing THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS OF WATER DAMAGE? Have you ever proclaimed, ?This is MY house, I HAVE to defend it?? If so, you should install THE KEVIN McCALLISER HOME SECURITY SYSTEM.

Based on STATE OF THE ART blueprints drawn by an eight-year-old, THE KEVIN McCALLISTER HOME SECURITY SYSTEM guarantees to fortify your by harnessing the BOOBY-TRAP potential of everyday household items. Today?s burglars are PERSISTANT ? it?s going to take a lot more than a SHOT IN THE GROIN from an air rifle out a doggy door to deter these criminals! So SCARE robbers into SUBMISSION with:

• A voice alarm warning intruders they have until the count of 10 to get their lying, yellow, no-good keister off your property before they get their guts pumped full of lead!

• Strategically-placed Hot Wheels? and shards of broken glass!

• Scorching doorknobs!

• Tar-coated staircases!

• Swinging paint cans!

• Basement blowtorches!

• Rusty nails!

• And tarantellas!

So simple a KINDERGARTNER could install it! ORDER just in time for CHRISTMAS and receive:

• BONUS zip line!

• PLUS 24-hour support from a crazy old man with a shovel!

Win the RECOGNITION of your ENTIRE FAMILY by brazenly telling bandits ?I?m NOT afraid anymore! Do you hear me? I?M NOT AFRAID ANYMORE!? after you CALL TODAY for THE KEVIN McCALLISTER HOME SECURITY SYSTEM!

THE KEVIN McCALLISTER HOME SECURITY SYSTEM is also available for your hotel room*! CALL TODAY!

*Only valid in New York City