Worst Person Ever? Man Breaks Up Special Olympics Run

An unbiased report for how this whole mess went down:

A man – no doubt an ordinary, run-of-the-mill, kind-hearted soul of a man – was just minding his own business, doing what any good motorist does by driving on a street – perhaps heading somewhere to purchase some American-produced goods in hopes of helping our struggling economy! – when he was stopped dead in his tracks. You see, this group of young ruffians that goes by the name “Special Olympics” – most likely code for a street gang – were doing this little “Torch Run” where they briefly take over the road with no regard for motorists at all! As you’d imagine, this upset folks who were using the street for the purpose it was created for, namely driving with automobiles. Folks like our hero – one David Schwartz of Valencia, California – who took it upon himself to rid Southern California of this riff-raff on his own, Charles Bronson in Death Wish-style. By which to say, he called them all little fags and threw some metal at them.

Take it away, Daily News:

The events leading to his arrest began about 3:25 p.m. Wednesday as deputies from the Los Angeles County Sheriff Department’s Santa Clarita Valley Station ran with children in the Special Olympics Torch Run, said sheriff’s Lt. Tom Bryski of the Santa Clarita Valley Station.

As the runners neared the intersection of McBean Parkway and Arroyo Park Drive, a motorist — later identified as David Schwartz — yelled for the participants to get out of the road while using a derogatory term referencing sexual orientation, Bryski said.

Schwartz then threw a metal bolt at the runners, narrowly missing two children, he said. The deputies who witnessed his actions used their radios to notify other units, Bryski added.

So, yeah. Let’s go ahead and give away that “Asshole of the Year” award now.