When it Doubt, Check It Out

This next article is part of an ongoing series here at TSB Magazine called The Success Principles. The series is based on the 64 principles laid out by Jack Canfield in his course of the same name. If you’re new, I always suggest starting any series from the beginning.

Principle 52:  When In Doubt, Check it Out

When many guys decide that they want to improve their interactions with women- they make one fatal mistake that prevents the ball from ever rolling.  That mistake is they make assumptions, and hence, take themselves out of the game.

Does this sound familiar?  You see an attractive girl sitting alone at a cafe in Barnes and Noble.  She casually flipping through a magazine.  You want to talk to her… but your mind quickly begins making assumptions.

These assumptions could include:

• She probably has a boyfriend
• She probably doesn’t want to be bothered
• I’m probably not her type
• She’s likely waiting for someone
• She seems distant and unapproachable

How many times do you make assumptions like these without checking them out?  Wouldn’t it be much easier to simply initiate a conversation and get the real story on what she’s thinking?

Maybe she’s single.  She’s waiting for some good conversation.  From a guy just like you.  She’s been lonely for awhile.  And she’s thinking “I’d love to talk to that guy but he just seems so distant and unapproachable.”

You’ll never know unless you make it a point to check it out.

This happens to us in all areas of our lives.

Have you ever had a friend or family member acting strangely toward you?  And instead of asking them what’s wrong you assume its because of something you did. And you begin scanning your mind trying to find out what you did that might have upset them.  And then you begin to avoid them.  And it becomes this giant issue in your mind.

And then you find out that they were having problems with their girlfriend and it actually had nothing to do with you?

Too many people waste valuable time and resources wondering what are other people are thinking, intending, or doing.  Rather than just asking them for clarification, they make assumptions- usually assuming against themselves- and then make decisions based on those assumptions.

Successful people, on the other hand, don’t waste time assuming or wondering.  They simply check it out: “I’m wondering if…” or “Would it be okay to…” or “Are you feeling…”  They are not afraid of rejection, so they ask.