Day #3: The “Inner Game” of Getting Her
I hear the same thing from guys all the time…
“I can’t stop thinking about her…”
“She’s the only one I want…”
“There’s something about her that other girls don’t have, so I have to get her”
I call this “EMOTIONAL QUICKSAND”.
And it happens to the best of us…
Even Rob Judge, who is THE BEST I’ve ever seen with women, fell into deep “emotional quicksand” when his girlfriend “pulled away” a year and half back…
Luckily, he knew enough (and me reminding him) to do the RIGHT THINGS…
Because most guys let their emotions take over, and blow it.
And most of the time, the girl they are obsessed with isn’t even as ex-girlfriend like the case was with Rob.
Most of the time its a girl they barely know…
These guys are always thinking about her, always obsessed with being with her…
They’re convinced they’re “in love with her.”
(They’re not, and in most cases barely even know her.)
But this same feeling of being “in love with her” that makes them think about her all the time, obsess over her…
Always has the same end result…
In EVERY guy…
You become afraid of her…
You think she’s out of you “league”…
You secretly feel like “you don’t deserve her”…
And you think you can’t RISK losing someone so perfect… By making a “wrong move”…
In other words…
This same feeling of being “in love with her” puts you COMPLETELY within her power…
But here’s the thing.
(This is important)
She doesn’t KNOW she has this power over you.
And here’s the most important: She DOES NOT WANT to have this power of you.
So, as soon as she realizes you think this way…
She runs as far away from you as she can!
By falling head over heels for girl you barely even know…
You let yourself fall more and more into a world of EMOTIONAL QUICKSAND…
That YOU created for yourself.
Crazy right?
Yet guys do this all the time.
You’re probably doing this with a girl RIGHT NOW.
The problem at the heart of “emotional quicksand” is that you feel she’s “better than you.”
And you think this because, at your core, you feel most people are “better than you.”
In other words, you have a feeling of inferiority.
When this feeling of inferiority combines with attraction towards a girl…
You end up sinking in “emotional quicksand.”
Every. Single. Time.
To get yourself out of this trap, you need to change the way you feel about yourself…. from inferiority to where you have unshakable “inner game”.
Where you learn how to take ownership of your life, so that she feels you’re in the drivers seat…
Rather than fawning over her.
Where you stop being blind to your “nice guy” behaviors… (and actually convince yourself your’e doing the right thing)
Instead, you start taking the direct, attractive actions you need to take.
Where you stop thinking of yourself as a powerless “victim” who can never get her…
And see every girl, even her, as well within your league.
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Recommended
How to “Think” Like a Player: The Player’s Paradigm
$9 audio program teaches 7 mindsets of that send “high status” signals to a girl (and get you laid) (learn more)
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I learned that lesson the hard way.
I sucked bad with women. I was VERY SHY. Minute I got around a girl started feeling nervous. Couldn’t be myself.
Could never think of clever shit to say.
Was sort of funny around my friends… A woman would never know it though.
Around girls I was BORING.
And if I did talk I said stupid shit.
I don’t even want to think about it. Makes me cringe.
My problem back then was I thought a man on a white horse was gonna ride in and save me.
Thought he was gonna force me to get better. Maybe he’d even drop a hot chick in my lap.
Tell me I earned it.
Never happened.
Then one day I woke up.
Was like waking up from a long dream.
That day I realized that I can either give up, accept defeat, marry a fat girl (or worse, grow old alone)
…or I could do something about it.
Cuz I wasn’t getting saved.
I think you know what I chose 🙂
So step one:
Accept the fact you are 100% responsible for making it happen.
That’s a start.
And when you accept that, it’s very FUCKING LIBERATING.
Owning the fact that YOU control your destiny.
It scared me at first, but now I LOVE it. You will too.
But you’re probably thinking you still ain’t got the confidence.
You’re still nervous.
You still clam up around women,.
… or you still can’t get women to think of you as more than a friend.
… or you can’t close the deal.
Don’t worry.
Throughout the next 28 lessons I’m going to give you my best opening lines, my best ways to get the kiss, and to get the hell out the friend zone…
But today we’re talking about the “inner game”
Guys say I need to fix my inner game.
I need more confidence.
But you don’t need to fix your inner game.
And you don’t need more confidence.
What you need is less fear.
All confidence is, is ‘lack of fear.’
Think about it.
Think about anything you ever been scared to do…
…maybe it was sleeping with the lights off when you were a kid.
…maybe it was riding your bike
… maybe it was traveling to a foreign country..
..For me, I used to be SCARED TO DEATH to go for the kiss. (lost out on a lot of ‘sure things’ cuz I couldn’t pull the trigger)
What do most guys fear when it comes to that one woman they really want?
For most guys, it’s FEAR OF LOSING HER.
Read that again…
The reason most guys blow it with a woman is because they have a massive FEAR OF LOSING HER…
Now, in future lessons I’m going to discuss how to get rid of this fear, and also, show you have you have WAY MORE OPTIONS than you could ever imagine.
But in the meantime, I recommend watching this video…
————————–Bonus Video: 5 Silent Killers of Your “Inner Game” Around HER————-
For more tips, download the Self Confidence Blueprint
———————–/Bonus Video—————-
So let me clear:
You don’t get inner game or self confidence by complaining about how you don’t have it.
You get it by going into the trenches and coming out alive.
You get it by standing up to your biggest fears.
You get it by putting your all into something, and not quitting until you taste the sweet scent of victory.
You get it by saying you’re going to do something.
And doing it.
You get it by surprising yourself day after day- that even with all your limitations and all those reasons you should fail- you persevere, defy the odds, and continually amaze yourself with what you can accomplish.
You get it by demonstrating to a woman that you are WILLING TO WALK AWAY, and you actually are willing to lose her.
And yes, that means YOU.
I want you to keep that in mind over the next 28 days.
Also, if mindset is something you struggle with… this will be the best $97 you ever spend.
Make it happen!
Bobby Rio
P.S. I once asked a great pickup artist by the name of Cajun, how he gained his confidence with women…
I though I would share his answer with you:
————————Cajun——————————
I remember the very night that I became good at attracting women, I remember because I had an epiphany that night and it was so mind-blowing that I had to write it down as soon as I came home. It has since become my mantra, and I know that if down the road I ever forget everything that I’ve learned in the past few years, all I will have to do is read this piece of paper and it will all come back. What does the paper say?
The secret to becoming amazing at attracting women is to remember that you already are.
————————-/Cajun—————————–
Previous Lesson: Day 2
{ 121 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks to you I had a great date with a hot younger chick, she is divorced with a 13 year old son at home, so I couldn’t close the first night, but there was a lot of kissing and touching. She was tracing her finger on my cock through my jeans and making me hard in the bar. When we left the restaurant we met at and I walked her to her car she grabbed me and gave me a hot kiss leaning back and pressing her pelvis into mine. I have a second date this Friday with her. Since it has been a week am I starting over from scratch or worrying about it too much? Felt like she really wanted me, but was way more cool than flirty the next day texting. Possibly worried about her son reading something he should not? Any advice would be appreciated dating yoda.
This is literally, the best investment I have ever made! Im 60 years old in 6 months and have kept it up at the gym and what not to still look good physically and as my marriage is failing Im no longer afraid that I might end up alone. And Im no longer trying to make it work out when she hasnt given a flying fuck in 6 years. Ive been confidently practicing on hot women from 25 and up for a month now and to see the look in their eyes is like putting a million bucks into my emotional bank account. At work, supermarkets, the bank etc. Im working on the material. Im only practicing on the hot ones as I dont have a shitload of years left on this earth, so Im going for the gusto. Your material is in one word, Brilliant!!! Cant thank you enough! Eddie g from Manchvegas NH
Im realising more and more just how important game is. Ive done really well over the last 24 months and started an agency which I then sold, I have all the signs of someone doing well, nice house, very nice car, nice motorbike, take a load of holidays and at the moment not working as I am taking a year off before I start on my next project. I thought these signs would finally do the work for me but they really dont as I am terrible at this shit which is why I am here.
Seems in this strange 2017 world someone can drive around in a aston martin and not be on social media but someone on instagram can post up pictures of their £150 jeans they bought on credit and somehow out do me!
I have spent about four years recovering from a tragic divorce. Lately I have recaptured my mojo. I am back. I was a major player but had forgotten everything I knew. Thanks Bobby for helping to remind me of what I have known all along.
Deft stuff Bobby, went from tumbleweeds to turning down dates because I have so many. Your advice works!
This actually applies to me a lot since even though I know what to do I have that fear in ocassions. However this is right when it says that is our own responsibility to be confident enough to make it happen. I seeing a girl with the potential of closing the deal, but its like trying to grab a wet soap with both hands that slipe away when you feel you’re about to hold it. I just hope with this method and can finally grab it without losing it over and over again.
My situation is different, I’m in an open relationship so I have a girlfriend, so I’m trying to learn how to keep things spicy with her yet at the same time I’m going to live my life and go experience other women as well (as she is doing having fun.) His stuff has worked I tried it with a couple that had been wanting to hook up with me for a while and we made it happen like last week! Sure some women have turned me down but the success rate in getting replies talking to women even online is quite high!!!
I have a question. The reason I have accessed this process is to not get a girl but to take control of the relationship I am currently in. She is a fantastic woman and I truly believe that she is into me but I am still feeling like the weaker person in the relationship. As I read the information, I am not sure if it will help in my situation..
Advice would be great!
Thanks Niko
Confidence doesn’t come from Girls- It comes from believing AND Knowing what to do. Believe like Cajun says and then read Bobby’s stuff. He’s my favorite. A good guy who wants to help us out.
Let me proof read all your email. you could use my help
I’m a 52 year old music student attending our local junior college. Yes I do prefer younger women who are hot, intelligent, and fun. It seems that they’re interested or atttacted. But when I express interest beyond frienship or school, the bitch shield kicks in lol! However The Bobbie Rio system has given me the support to say fuck it, refuse to settle, and start looking for that super fine female or females that I’m out to snag, bang, and otherwise. Hey Bobby, thanks for putting an old school player back in the game. Wow I just love this New School game book!
The question for me is not the confidence aspect but what do I I say to a a woman I meet the first time? What do i whisper in her ear to want her to get laid? The first liners that makes her wet?
“All confidence is, is ‘lack of fear”
“When you learn to ride a bike you use training wheels. When you learn to swim you wear a life jacket. When you learn to hit a baseball you play T-ball. ”
“All these things are designed to give you the confidence to practice.”
“The secret to becoming amazing at attracting women is to remember that you already are.”
The above are my “ah-ha” moment.
Hi,
I was just reading “the inner game of meeting women, and slowly I felt the paradigm shift. Then I realized, that I put up my profile on meeting women, and I had quite a few women tell me that I’m cute or you’re handsome. And many women out there are looking for men that are confident in themselves and knows what they want.
Here are 2 great relevant quotes!
“MAN IS GOD AFRAID” ~ Maeterlinck
“FEAR MAKES THE WOLF BIGGER THAN IT IS” ~ German proverb
Like your work, Bob!
Hey Bobby,
I recently bought the Player’s Paradigm and a few other programs and have started implementing what I have learned. The results are amazing, I feel more confidence when talking to women and am getting results however small. One woman I talked to at work was really into me and I was setting a good mood; she was biting her lip and as exuding obvious signs that she wanted to hook up. Then someone came and ruined it. Moral of the story…I’ve decided to make the change. Thanks
Sincerely,
Max
Bobbi,
When I first looked at your ads, I figured they were a bunch of hype and BS.
But I decided to take a small risk at first, and try it out, and I’m so glad I did.
First off, let me say, I’m 65 years old, and recently divorced and I’m only attracted to women in their from 18 to forties, and not many in their 40’s and 50’s, so I have a challenge ahead of me.
All the ones I want are 1/3 to 1/2 my age, and hot skinny and sexy.
I had all but given up hope until I started reading and listening to your stuff.
I do have the benefit of experience and so many things you teach ring bells for me from my prior years of playing, mostly when I was in my late 20’s early thirties.
I was very handsome, looked 10 years younger than I was, so it was easier, but I still had to work at it.
Point being, as you explain what works, and why, it resonates with me, and I know from past experiences that it’s 100% true.
The big difference is, I did not always know what worked and why, but I can look back at the times things worked, and say, Aha!, that’s why that worked.
And now I can intentionally and methodically work these tools into my interactions and watch how they work.
And THEY DO WORK!!!
I’ve been having a ball playing with the different suggestions, and my confidence is growing like never before.
See, when I was at my peak of physical attraction, I still had a mountain range to cross because I did not know how to play them once I started to talk. And the hotter the babe, the harder it was for me to talk to her, so they would quickly lose interest, and hook onto a guy with less looks but more game.
I hated that! But today, I’m gonna be that guy with the game, that old fart who can pick up hot young babes.
Thanks for your programs, they are awesome!
You are a life saver!
Question for y’all? What’s the best way to spark something that fell apart? Meant up with this girl from high school after a couple years, we were hitting it off great. Went on about 10 dates and we’ve had sex already. I asked her out on the last date, she said yes. Then later that week changed her mind. She just got out of a relationship a month prior. She used the term “right guy, wrong time” I think we fit perf together. But ever since she explained why she shouldn’t date we haven’t talked in about a month. Is there any hope? I wanna text her, but I don’t think it will get anywhere. She may want some time apart but no reason for her to not talk I did nothing
I’m a univ student n I jst wanted to ask; are the hot girls at d library hungry enough?
I’ve been in and out of the game for a while now. And i’ve learned a few things the VERY hard way.
One thing i’ll tell you right now is there’s a lot more to inner game than you are letting on.
I’m going to spill the beans right now. Inner game and Outer game are a double helix. And both of them come down to hypnotism.
Inner game is reprogramming your mind for confidence. Outer game is persuasion in the form of conversational street hypnosis. It really is that simple.
I wish someone had told me this when i started out. It would have saved me a LOT of hard lessons.
Btw, approach anxiety was never my issue. In my first 4 months of doing pickup i did 2525 sarges. And i counted every.single.one.of.them.immediately.after.i.did.them, and even categorized them by the responses i got.
After that i did hundreds more. And then i stopped cold turkey. Because it just wasn’t happening, and i couldn’t figure out why not.
I can tell you this much after all of these years. It’s because solid inner game isn’t related to confidence. There are a lot of confident dolts out there. I hear horror stories about them from the women i’ve been speaking to for the last few years. And to a lot of rAFC, those confident dolts seem like they’re living it. But the women tell a completely different tale.
Real confidence comes from effective skill. That is genuine inner game. You KNOW how to do things other guys don’t. And even if you don’t know how to do certain things, you have a partner who is willing to teach you. That is how naturals learn their mindset which feeds into their inner game. That is also the one thing non-nats do not have. They don’t have that mindset, they don’t have the intentions taht a strong mindset give you, and their inner game is either missing or it is counterproductive.
In hypnotism, mindset and intent are developed during what is known as the hypnotic interview, which takes place BEFORE any hypnotic procedure. The actual hypnotic procedure is inner game. I repeat. Hypnotic trancework procedure is Inner Game. For whatever reason, that fact is not being taught in pickup. I do know that many hypnotists have figured that much out, and they disown pickup as a degradation of their art, but in fact, pickup IS practical hypnotism. The posthypnotic suggestion, when followed through after the trance and in the real world, is outer game. In short, sarging is either stage hypnosis done on the street, or regular street hypnosis done with conversational hypnosis and persuasion techniques. When you know these facts, many confusing things about pickup suddenly become very clear. And again, i wish somebody had told me these things right from the very beginning.
Slowly but surely i am figuring some things out. Pickup is not supposed to be complicated. It works a certain way, but it’s not supposed to be complicated and it definitely is not supposed to be confusing. It begins with KNOW THYSELF and KNOW THY CONSORT, and then proceeds to ATTRACTION strategies. From there, everything else should be a variation of the above.
Rant over, back to learning and application mode.
Made the list and looking forward to the actual list. My issue is that I think intuitively but from the lessons I’m learning to think and do things counter-intuitively.
I haven’t made a list yet. Only because there’s one particular woman that I’m already pursuing, I have just not been able to close the deal. I’ve learned alot about what I’ve allowed to go wrong but I’m determined to close the deal. The problem is that I’ve probably established too much respect for me and her. Now to let my other side out is hard to figure out. I want to marry this woman so my goal wasn’t sex right away. However I think it’s gonna help to close the sex deal in order to close the big deal. So I’m looking to sharpen my technique for that relationship in particular. I’ve got four other women and have no problem closing the deals there. I just happen to make the right moves with them and sex is readily on tap. But I want the one that I’ve been showing apparently too much respect for.
You all seem to agree, All you need is Confidence. And you home free, I do not have confidence, because I have a proven track record of not, having the first clue what the want. As soon as I open my mouth – or in this case send my first message – as I have most of my contact from dating sites. Once a week a 8 or a 9 contacts me completely silly mood, and hair tvirling gigling ( or the equivalent ). They contact me because I am just so super sexy … now these are girl down to half my age. Seldom the girl older than 10 years younger than me, very seldom. But given the setup, about 90% do not answer 1st note – 2note 95% 3 note 99% 4-10 notes 99.99% stopped writing.
All confidence is, is ‘lack of fear.’
I like that line. When I look back at some of the guys I knew who got all the girls, i admit they WERE confident, but that did not necessarily make them competent. Outside of picking up girls they were clowns that fucked up a lot. That just always irked the shit out of me.
kind of interesting to read this one , I admit yesterday I kind of skimmed over the letter and didn’t take in the task , what I did find useful however was yesterday listen to your bit on motivation in the motivated to approach program , kind of skipped the order of that a bit , going follow up listen to the self image one today.
The bit about imaging your death a funeral is a really powerful tool for the mind.
Went back and did yesterdays task I found it useful for know the situations in day time and night time where I might meet woman as some advice I have had is its easy to meet in day , for me its where ever I feel more comfortable rather than when I guess but I understand this advice I have had in past.
any way I need work on my focus a bit the motivation sometimes I had tons of it and other times not so much , I not see it as life or death but I do feel it important I guess why that bit about the imaging your death was so useful for me.
My confidence shot through the roof when I first started getting Testosterone shots and it became kindof a game to approach woman and just see what I was gonna say. The problem was I couldn’t keep the conversation going. One time I was talking to a cute woman who was much younger than me. I think I creeped her out. How do I approach and talk to hot women that are 10 to 20 years younger than me and get them home with me and not being seen as an old pervert.
I have no problem talking to a women but the knock out ones seems to scare me bcus I feel that theiy are out of my league.So after listening to you n joshue l take it that a women is a women ,whether good looking or knock outs.You apply what u have learn n they will melt in ur hands
TX so much, Bobby!
I had an epiphany today! “Confidence is the absence of fear!” You can learn anything, all it takes is practice! trainingwheels!
I will be praqcticing.
I keep you posted.
Walter
Hi Josh
you have to realize that most 18 year old boys aren’t that attractive physically except for being young and strong. Most got pimples, they’re stooping and slumping and generally wearing stupid headwear, bad hair cuts if any and baggy trousers. A few of course are the schools sports-heroes and some are just plain awesome to look at – but… it’s a few! Most are plain looking, average intelligent, ill-dressed puppies. But you know what? They got attitude.
I was at McDonalds the other day and happened to watch a gang of the above described. They really looked like shit. Four guys on a trip together. And they had fun. They were really enjoying themselves, bantering and teasing the waitresses – and the waitresses loved it. It was pure fun and attitude. No sleazy pickup lines or intricate jokes – just fun and attitude.
If you really worry about your physical appearance – well, do something about it. Go to the gym, dress up – it’s not that hard. But better yet – gang up with some fun guys and go out having a good time and start teasing the girls – they’re waiting for it.
Uncle Per – 52 and seen it all 😉
I’m 60 plus, fit horny and not getting it….
Partneer, (friend status) similar age. Spent more than 18 months (different trips) lying naked cuddling, no sex all over the world.
She says there’s no chemistry, love the naked cuddling, no kissing
not touching her up. Massage, conversation, no escalation. When we had sex four years ago she was the best, there was an infection and no more. Just cinema, dinners, plays, beach…
A good woman wasted…
I hunger and just don’t get it!
She is overseas for 8 weeks, one brief email week three, no response to my response, watch the inbox hoping to hear from her…
Hey ti, good way of looking at it. I always say life is like a boxing match, you can get into the “sweet science” all you want, but however look at what your doing you just have to remember when you get knocked down, get back up again. My Dad used to always say to me, The only easy day, was yesterday.
Recently i was chatting with a woman who was looking for a man to have sex and she abruptly stopped the chatting as soon as i said i have safe sex with other woman too in reply to her question- do you have sex with other woman other than your wife?
What was my mistake and what was the right answer to keep the conversation going on to satisfy her?
It really does come from fear–fear that she’ll laugh at you, fear that she’ll find out your not super successful, fear that she’ll reject you. These fears are going to exist–the key (as I am still learning) is to act in spite of the fear. The worst feeling that you can get is the pain of regret from not acting and having that gnawing, horrible feeling of “missing the boat”, not acting when you know you want to approach but letting fear run your life. IMO it is the worst feeling as a man, to realize you were too much of a punk and too scared to act on your drive as a man.
What if the things that you are good at happen to be things that society labels as “boring”, nerdy, unfashionable? Hell, if being intelligent and knowledgeable got you laid, we would have no problem in this country with education. Even being a musician is only considered interesting if you play top 40 music like the record (though that can be top 40 in several genres.)
one of my favorite quotes is
If it is to be
it is up to me.
I should listen to it myself
im in an asian country so needless to say some stuff i have learnt from various pua’s does not really work here coz asian chicks are kind of shy and super reserved .but im close to reeling one in but im confused if she is interested or not
hey thanx bobby for the banter cheat sheet, and for breaking down what flirting is all about……it turned me from a v to a casanova in just a month!!
Congratulations you’ve got a free editor. That would be me, you get what you pay for so I just will point out obvious stuff. Let’s be clear and not let’s me clear is what you want to say.
hey bobby
how in the hell do i not be a nice guy without being called a douchebag!?
haha jw i really need your advice on that.
I have bought into your stuff and 5 other sites. I have been obssessed with finally overcoming this area of my life. Im 47 and been working om this for the last 50 days or so and had more growth as a man than all the years of counceling, church, all of it this has always been my issue that I never knew how to fix. Well it is being fixed now.
Thanks guys.
Hey Bobby..do you ever notice how us guys do SO much work on ourselves….and then is it just me, or are most girls HORRIBLE at conversation, usually REALLY shallow, boring, bad attitudes etc…it’s like even if you didn’t see a girl for 3 months and you say “Hey, what’s new..what have you been up to?” And the answer is usually always..”Ohh, nothing.” Give me ANYTHING to go on. I mean SOMETIMES, it’s not ALL on us… love your stuff though.
it’s not easy to lose something like that and i tell you what.. life goes on.. for me the best way to handle the situation is to go out more, meet more people, take a journey, learn something new.. and never ever get in contact with her, disappear from her life, but you dont have to make it too hard, just make it that you dont contact her first, dont follow her status on fb, or twitter or anywhere.. that’s it.. I hope it helps
thanks bobby for not letting me be forever alone!!!
Great lesson cant wait for the other ones… I bumped into a girl yesterday and remembered your lesson which helped alot thanxs…
Hey just want to say that everytime I read one of your postings I feel better, because I’m reminded of what it takes and what I have to do and sometimes I need a boot in the ass and what you just said today was that boot I needed.
To take 100 % responsibility is what I needed to hear and you know what, it’s liberating, it’s liberating to know that I’m the one in control of this and I’m the one who’s going to make this happen!
I am loving all of this info, it’s truly peeling back years and years of built up fear and I’m starting to shed those layers and become the MAN I’ve been hiding!
Thank you!!!!
Marc
I am already a great listener…and I always learn before I bitch, but I somehow never got Lesson #1. So, how can I get it,before I finish up the rest? Thanx for your time!
Bubba
Hey dam well recently I asked this one chick I was checking out on a date well it was diner. Buh that’s not the point the point is I got shy and nervous I couldn’t keep a conversation going I couldn’t make eye contact for long period’s of time. And to top it all of we got pulled over and I’m on probation so it was bad.. since then I haven’t seen or herd from her I’m thinking she got spooked cus of them pigs …I need help bad
Hi.. these lessons are very nice…i cnt start conversation with girls easily…
hope you will cover that in your future lessons..
Hay Bobby bro been following you for a good few months now and you seem to have a lot of insight. I’ve been reading up on different aspects of the text game and how to build attraction with women both over text nd in person. You see i’m pretty comfortable talking to women, teasing them and basicly just having fun. I have a lot of girlfriends and i do get hookups but more often than not i either get put in the friend zone or we hookup and i have trouble keeping the attraction going. I think i need help to not come across as the funny nice guy and portray myself as a flirt from the start? Will you be covering anything that would help my situation. Cheers bro. . .
I did not receive the second days class. How do I get it. I feel like I’m missing a piece of the puzzle.
It’s hoped that I can gain some skills to beautify my relationships with girls I may chase one day,haha.
To successful You need confidence, Right?
Hey Bobby so what , am spose to become all out obcessed, talking R talk would really bother most women in my point of view, what about getting to know a woman before you start talking about her, P, ya no be a gentleman, cause have tried being obvious and wellllllll…… here I am….
The friend zone has always been a problem in the past and even now and i am still trying to figure the type of women i approach and what type they are and the right things to say. My major problem is starting conversation or even simply introducing myself at times.
Hey bobby ,I appreciate these class section ,I really appreciate the notes on healing child hood wounds,I would hope that you don’t be frustrated ,because of our insecurities,some of us may never get it at the same of the 31 days,once again I am apart of history when bobby Rio a student of the game stepped out and created foot prints in the sand for us to follow and embraced the truth by trail and error and receive instructions to gain self worth,and develop ourselves into men of value,walk us through our insecurities,with guidance,because your program is not without purpose ,it is the mantra we all fear ,we already are ,the only question remains in the end ,will you receive this truth and believe.
Hi Bobby!
Thanx man. I am from India. I am 26 normal looking guy. As you said to overcome ur fear, my main fear is not to approach or talk with girls but somehow I make them more than bored and scared with my talks. So every girl runs away as fast as she comes may be with my expressions or my weird behaviour.
Apart from this when I am in virtual world, I am the best for some girls. What is the solution to make my virtual personality as my real one.
Say it like it is. That’s the way to go bobby. One changes his reality not by fantasizing about it but by facing it.
One thing that can help one be better at interacting with women is getting into the habit of interacting with everyone. Joke with everyone around you, make them feel better about themselves and you’ll start seeing a massive difference. I’m no dating coach or an expert like Bobby, but I speak from experience. That’s not sissy talk here fellas, it’s the real deal I’m sharing with you here.
And also remember the advice from Cajun, remember that you already are an attractive dude. Remember that you can charm any woman you choose to. Enforce this belief within you and you’ll start seeing massive difference in your dating lives.
Good luck
Beli-P
To be frank you really got me there, that was exactly what I was doing making excuses like let him just get on with this shit, but now I kinda realized how wrong I am.Actually I’ve got a real problem I’m kinda good looking and that where I sucked out cause I taught women were going to be chasing me for a long time kinda like they do Chris brown, Trey songs and all others but what I didn’t take into consideration was they are celebrities and I’m not now the seeds have germinated I overtly suck at women am, still a freaking virgin sometimes I wish I can go back in time there were a lot of girls then but what i didn’t know I was on a friend level now am at home when most of my mates are in college fucking hot girls and I cant seem to get a girl and I need help cause next year I’m going to national aviation academy Florida and i want to f lots of girls bro I REALLY NEED HELP
hey bob my man wassup my name is will.I attracted women I have the confidence but its my personality that kicks me in the ass.Im more the laid back mellow voice type of guy.I believe I have some upper hands but I have a habit of staying alone and to myself.Could ytou give me any advice?
Bobby,
This is sweet stuff. I’m 15 and I’m not sure if this stuff is suited to me, most of it I can convert by taking out everything about bars, clubs and sex but I guess what I really want to know is if girls my age react the same way as the women you talk about in your lessons.
Cheers
Hey Bobby, I think after this program ill be a changed man. You’re way better than all the other PUA. And u actually respond back. Your the best, best investment I’ve ever made was in you. May God bless you
Great stuff, good work Bobby. Really difficult to remember all the things when you interact with a girl, and if you concentrate on the techniques you create a unnatural tension that separates you from the girl, most important is the feeling. if you get stuck on techniques you miss the real person, thats my problem at the moment
My search has led to one hell of a method addiction … it sux…….it makes the search all that much harder
hey Rio lessons coming on good man. to remember that you already are attractive is a confidence booster, big time.
confidence get u what ever you want.
Hi.I am Pasha,and i am from Russia.Could you ansuer me:what do you say to a girl when she ask me about my girlfrend.Like if I have a girl or not,then why not and oll this things.
I have been having trouble getting girls, i had this girl come over my house we were talking fine and flirting but the next time i asked her round she bailed out i just have a problem with girls sticking to there word and bailing out on the last minute
thanks bobby, i really appreciate it
Yep. We’ll have a lesson on how to make approaching women easier… what to say, how to flirt… and just about anything else you’d need to get your confidence back
hey bobby, first i wanna say thanks for your help man. You are real cool guy to take it upon yourself to help others with challenges in the department of attracting women. In my opinion i would say that I am a pretty good looking guy because i hear it a lot from women and i did have a lot of luck in the attracting women department but it seems that I am starting to not do as well lately. I feel as if I am loosing my confidence and am starting to become hesitant when approaching women. Will you be covering anything that will help me with my situation ? ( sorry for the long comment)
Thanks Bobby. Have a fair amount of weak areas in my game so looking forward to the next 28 days.
A nice aside of putting these lessons up is the community comments. I don’t feel so alone anymore. It’s great to hear all of the different perspectives.
Best regards from the UK.
hey my friend thankx 4 ur 31 days hope to learn more awsome shit i cant buy so i dont have a credit card n i got pay 70 dollars at moth i have been faloowing u for 3 year i realy have learn nice stuff nice working hard for the internet guys.
Hi, Bob–
Thanks for the geat job you are doing.
I’m 55 (yes, this not a typo), look 45 though, but walking with a cane (have a hip replacement pending).
I’m attracted to much younger girls. Could you suggest an inner game for me to overcome the sense of being discounted in their eyes?
yeah it’s true we are totally responsible for the outcome of this
There’s a two part lesson coming up in a couple weeks on “hot to get out of the friend zone”
hey bobby . i wonna say ”thenks for evrything man” ..you know evry day i check my e-mail looking for this ”bobby rio Day # ” …but my probleme is i always stuck in the frind zone and that makes me Upset …..i already have a frind she calls me evry day and i know She wants to be more than friends but i dont know how to start or make her feel that I also want her to be my girlfrind and And I am afraid to spoil everything..
i dnt no how to start or end a confasation with a girl
we’ve got an upcoming lesson on “text game”
How do I form attraction through texting
True Dat!!! Adam well said it is about your Evolution/Growth as a Human Being,this will draw other people to u automatically,it is the consciousness u give off,or your Aura as they say,and u do this totally for Self,not some woman.
Thanks Bobby
I think what a lot of you guys dont quite grasp… is that its 1.) a sincere interest in progressing/evolving… if you are only looking to improve your game with women, then you arent going to be fully succcessful (its like learning to play that one particular song on the guitar rather than learning the guitar
2.) if you improve your inner game for YOU, not for picking up women (as that’s no different than becoming something for someone else which is the epitome of weak loserville)… if you improve yourself, your confidence… your mind set will be entirely different… you will become more comfortable with whom you are, with other people, making friends, getting that job and/or promotion and of course one of the side effects is being more successful with women, but its natural… not some forced or fake, insincere tactic you are trying to learn….doesnt work that way.
Did not receive number 4and 5 lesson
How do you know that a woman want you
when im infront of a girls i dont what to say its like im paralyze .Do you have some tecnic of relaxation when aproaching a woman.
yeak,the lesson is to push yourself a little bit outside your comfort zone… face your fears a bit… which will serve to make you more comfrotable in the future..
so the lesson for today was that you need to practice talking to women or don’t be scare of talking to a women .I think that it is to be more comfortable around chicks right
Thanx for the lessons Bobby.
I’m eagerly looking forward to lesson 31
Best regards from Sweden
Man your fucken right, less than a year ago i can remember just talking to girls like nothing. Somehow i developed like a phobia. But fuck that shit.
“I already have everything it takes to attrat the perfect woman for me”-The Elusive Obvious-I love it=-Thats some deep stuff right there dawg-keep up the good work maestro- men Rule!
hey bob first of all thank you so much for starting this program… dude i have read your small talk tactics and teasing and banter lines… I used some of those lines it worked in the beginning but later i was blank again i ran out of words and now that girl is not even answering me back… is there any way i can get back on track with her again because i don’t want her to think about me as boring an lame….. pls advice me what should i do next… thanks
Its a game, i’ll try to remember that its completely fine and normal for me to lose the first few rounds. My aim is really to get better at it so that i can start winning some rounds, then more rounds, then boom, WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT, THIS IS EASY!
Thanks Bobby, I don’t know you but you come across as such a genuine dude, Respect
The method, that will undoubtedly motivate me to MAKE IT HAPPEN, fearlessly. You got a program called “Driven to Action”, Before I start with all the “game” methods, should I take a look at this first perhaps?
which program to start with depends on what your biggest obstacle is. give me an idea of what you’re struggling with and i’ll try to guide you to the right course of action
Hi Bobby,
I was always very skeptical towards certain PUA material. Because there is so much to follow, but so little that is worth to do so. One thing that I see that you do differently from other PUA artists, is that you give feedback to your followers and reply to them. I think your material is actually quite interesting, Im willing to follow it, but where do I start from, you have so many programs, so many solutions, but I cannot seem to organise and follow all of the information and programs that you offer, in a specific order. That leaves me confused
“How To Meet The Right Woman: A Five-Step Strategy That Really Works” by Roger Ratcliff is a good book and can be bought on Amazon for $0.01 + $3.99 S&H. It helps you define what kind of woman you’re looking for as well as give you places to go (or not go). Basically, Starburst, you’re talking about day game, which is something most PUA gurus totally skip. I like big bookstores, especially those with cafe areas. There are a lot of young women in places like that on Saturday and Sunday afternoons. Still, day game is hit or miss, and maybe that’s why night game (nightclubs, bars, etc.) is emphasized in the PUA community because those are target-rich environments and a Mystery approach can be taken in places like that. Day game, a Ross Jeffries approach. No matter what one says about online dating, women there for the most part are looking to meet men, but that’s mostly for the post-college crowd. If you’re in college, take advantage of it! Watch “Road Trip” and listen to the advice Sean Williams-Scott’s character gives to the guy who’s trying to keep his long-distance relationship intact.
thanks man.. i appreciate the feedback.
I said I’d write down a list… so here it is… Colleges, Dance Classes, yoga classes, volunteer work, team coordinated type groups things, anything where its a norm to communicate with people on a friendly casual level but where there is a clear objective other than meeting women… cause then it wouldn’t be so awkward and most women’s guard would be down… they’re gonna be open to you because your gonna be helping complete some kind of objective with them… and when you’re game is tight its easy because her guard is down… and not only that its a one thing led to another situation… your/her intentions have an alibi… you’re volunteering, you/her were going to dance class learning some new dance moves, you/her were going to college to get an education not to get laid… I really don’t have a clue… how this stuff works I’m just making educated guesses… that’s all I got right now… I really would like to know what other guys on the program have on their lists tho…
I like how you broke down that “man on white horse” concept… I’ve felt this way for a long time and I thought I was the only one… I’mma make a list tonight… and take the next 28 days seriously… I have faith in this program now… I think you truly want to help guys like me and aren’t just another sleazy PUA trying to hustle dudes giving them false hope and making their wallet skinnier in the process… I guess what I’m saying is props to you for this program and who you are as a person…
I’m a bit behind all the lessons I received – was busy with work and responsibilities. But got it all saved, and now catching up.
Anyways, Yeah , you make a good point about doing it ourselves. The thing I realized with many people , including me, we are overly used to situation when parents are telling us to do this, or that. School and college – you get this task, you get this assignment, you do this, and then this! Soooo… Bad boys don’t usually listen to their parents, just do what they want, and they skip classes, don’t worry too much about their grade – just do what they feel like is best. In that case they get that SELF RULED attitude, and do their own decision that they feel best for them. While nice guys are overly slammed with routines and instructions – end up not having that “self drive”. I guess that’s why we are here now – to bring back our instinct that was originally given to us by mother nature.
So now I start to see how those puzzle pieces are falling together, and it start making sense.
Hey bob, thanks man am followin the cause day by day nd puttin it into practice nd i know by the end of it, i will be magnificent. All thanks gose to you…
Daym bobby so true so true. Thanks so much I’ve benefited so much in only a few days from getting these tips. Got three numbers yesterday and been workin on the text game at the moment. Can’t wait to read the rest of the 28. It’s all inside us guys, remember that. Everything bobby teaches us is already there we just have to realize that it’s there. Thanks again pzzpzz
gettin more and more interestin Bobby
I like what you have to say man. I think applying your method to some of the other methods already in practice(use) would help you achieve finding your own epiphany. I’m gonna figure out what mine is.
What I’ve found that works for me for meeting girls in public (and yes, even Wal-Mart) is to notice something they’re wearing and comment on it (or ask about it). Instead of approaching directly, try approaching from a not so threatening angle (45 degrees, for example). One way to make women relaxed around you is to be relaxed yourself. I prefer day game myself. Ross Jeffries’ Speed Seduction is great for that. Most of the other PUA gurus teach night game and that’s great if you like going to bars and nightclubs in the first place. After all, hot women are almost guaranteed to be in those places.
Hey bobby, these lessons are very helpful, and they sure as hell are true, thanks a million for these. And one of the major places to meet girls is at Universities, well at least for me.
Yep… everything combines to show you how to create the “spark” with almost any woman
hey bob let me first start by saying thank you for these lessons. they came at just the right time for me. my fiance of 3 years left me not too long back because she said she lost that romantic spark and she doesnt see me that way anymore, but i strongly feel i cant give up on this one. will you be covering anything along these lines in your lessons? i know i can respark what we had, but im not sure how to do it. thanks for everything bro!
Yep… i’ll be covering it all 🙂
hey bob,i really appreciate the advice that you give to peeps about getting along with women.Keep up the awesome work man.Anyways i dont really know how to put this but the country i live in “INDIA” ..its really hard to find the kind of women who can open up real quick and its even tough to actually get sexual with them coz d women out here have this freakinn “i am not that kinda girl” thing that usually screws things up esp when it comes to sex..so is there any way in which i can actually make conversations more effective sexually so that i can take things to the next level? also in this program would u be discussing more on how to approach random girls??
Okay sorry for the second post… But I really didn’t want to bring this up but who cares nobody knows me here. What I try to do is walk around and pretend like I own a multi-million dollar business, so I have that look of pride. There is one girl that I know that we used to hang out a lot (fuck), and we pretty much started hating each other. Now we started talking again, and it seems like she has a little resentment toward me. Now I know that I trigger some emotions, because I made her upset at me today. What I want to know is how to control her emotions from being “yeah I miss hanging out with you we should sometime” (then never does), to “I can’t stop thinking about you when can I come over” kind of thing. I’m sure a lot of guys go through this and just for them what’s your advice?
Okay, I have it in my head that if I actually got into a conversation with a girl, I could get her number. I’ve done it a bunch. But the only thing I have when it comes to approaching them is talking a lil game. Things like “hello there cutie”, or “what’s UP”. What I want to know is how to walk up to a random girl in Wal-Mart, and start talking. There are tons of hot girls there, and tons of opportunity, but it seems like most of them are just there to shop and get out of there. I speak for a lot of guys when I’m talking. It would be helpful to know how to talk to someone outside of social places (clubs, bars, scool) I.E. random people.
In life, with most things you do, there is a correct way of thinking. Thinking correctly about the activity will help you select the right actions for a successful outcome! Make sure you have correct thinking whenever you begin an activity and while you are doing it!!!
Lars
yea, we’ll be covering a couple things you mentioned.
1. a lesson on an easy way to approach a woman
2. a lesson on what to say to make you more confident
3. multiple lessons on ‘the attitude’
4. a lesson on how to improve your looks so that you feel more confident
i think that it is true when you have the confidence in your self anything is possible thts some serious good advice man 😀
Ive just turned 18 and I am about to graduate. In my opinion, I’m not very attractive (no belly but i have moobs, facial features aren’t the best) and Im shy around my female peers that I never really got to know, because i assume they think a certain way about me because of how i used to act (lame), so I don’t talk to them because Im scared. However, when I see a girl outside of school and Im with a friend, Im not very scared, but still nervous. If the girl says something to me the # is in my hand by the time i leave, but I need help with getting confidence initiating conversation. Will you be covering how to build up confidence to do that? Sorry My Comment is so long
This is something I had a lot of trouble with at first, but there are ways for anyone to exude more confidence. It’s like, you’ve seen yourself in the mirror so many times that you probably only see your faults. It’s like you’ve forgotten your positive attributes are there. So, whether you are tall, or funny, or smart, or in good shape or whatever, just focus on the things that you are genuinely good at or are attractive or interesting about you. Fill yourself with those positive — and honest — good vibrations and step out into the world.
I’ll be covering A LOT about what to say, and how to keep a conversation going throughout rest of the 31 Days to better game program…..
I run out of things to say nd wat should I talk bout when it my first time talking on the phone
When you exude confidence, sexuality follows.
It’s tough love but it’s true, you have to take full responsibility for your game with women before you are going to improve at all. It’s something that many don’t want to own up to.