Gold Diggers and Distant Fathers.

Here’s a pretty deep female psych piece so if that is not interesting to you, I don’t know what to tell ya that doesn’t begin with F and end in off.

One of the things I’ve noticed recently both from interacting with some of my friends with sugar daddies and this new girl I’m seeing, is the direct relationship between how the girl’s father showed affection and how the girl currently gets feels attraction.

Every girl I’ve ever met who was a “Gold-digger” had a weird relationship with their dads. No great shock here, the only thing more obvious would be suggesting that all strippers have Daddy issues. But the specific nature of the relationship, became more clear to me when I was talking to this girl we’ll call Danielle.

Unlike most Gold-Diggers I’ve met Danielle comes from a relatively poor family. Her dad lived across town from her, but only showed up every couple of months to take her out to eat or bring her a few presents. Coincidentally,the way this girl feels someone likes her is when they buy/give her things.

Even if it’s something small like a drink or a pair of sandals at the beach.

The emotional distance, combined with him using material gifts instead of time, love, and guidance, produced a woman who is incapable at this point in her life of loving a man in the conventional terms.

She just doesn’t know how to do it. Nor do a lot of women who are “Gold-Diggers”. Including Tamra Barney of The Realhouswives of OC, and Kori of Bad Girls Club Season 6. Both “Gold-Diggers” who have publicly admitted to having these kinds of relationships with their dads.

I think most Dating coaches would explain gold digging as a “Survival” tactic. Like when Mystery used to say that he would rather feed a girl a piece of food from his plate than buy her dinner, because of the evolutionary subtext.

While I think there’s a part of that which is true, I think more than nature, NURTURE is what creates our habits and emotions. Nurture is why the purple Nike cult drank strychnine laced kool-aid and some even served it to their children.

Nurture is why terrorists drove a plane into the World Trade Center on September 11th. And IMO nurture is responsible for gold-digging behavior.

I’m not a huge fan of Freud (Mostly because he did more coke than a Columbian cartel),but I do think he was on to something with his ideas about our mothers and fathers and the issues they create in how we process and feel loved.

The flip side of this is girls who get along really well with their dads like this girl I was seeing until a few months ago Kelly. These girls tend to be more self reliant, independent, and together.

They also tend to have too many dude friends for my liking, but that is a topic for another post entitled “never trust a girl who doesn’t get along with other girls.”