Shut the Fuck Up!!! or How to Use Silence Effectively

Today I wanted to address something that is a big sticking point for most guys who are intermediate-advanced (myself and 99% of instructors included).

You talk too goddamn much…

Once guys learn how to keep a conversation going forever, they forget that sometimes talking more is not the best solution.

And that often the more you talk, the more likely you are to say something stupid or even worse use some sort of tactic or technique incorrectly.

Instead once you’ve HOOKED a conversation, oftentimes it’s a good idea to shut up, smile(this is KEY as you don’t ant to stop talking and stare like a serial killer) and see what the girl does.

One of the problems with talking too much is that it eliminates the inherent tension present when a man approaches a woman.

This tension is what allows escalation to happen, when the woman becomes more comfortable with an escalating interaction than she was with the underlying tension in the silence.

It also provides a great opportunity to see where the girl is. Oftentimes I’ll shut up thinking I’m still trying to get attraction and the woman will respond to my silence by asking a deeper question or by simply giving me a compliment.

Again I want to remind you that this is for guys who HOOK sets. It’s never a good idea to start a conversation with a woman, and then shut up, UNTIL she is actively participating in the conversation and would rather you talk to her than leave.

Until that point you gotta run your mouth, but after that it’s a good idea to shut up and see what happens.