A Primer on Asking Questions

One of the biggest misunderstandings guys seem to have involving social skills is how and when to use questions.

Back in the day when I got involved in the whole Secret Underground Internet Seduction Community (SUISC) most of my teachers considered asking a woman a question in the first few minutes of an interaction equivalent to spitting herpes blood in her eye.

There were tactics and posts about turning questions into statements and of course the rise of routines etc…

But there never seemed to be a guide to how and when to use questions. Being that I am by far the most normal of the pickup instructors I set out to understand how I was able to ask questions and not get a bad response early on.

Turns out questions are not the worst thing in the world even during the beginning of a conversation, instead what really dooms guys when asking questions is the follow-up.

Most guys ask questions like this:

Guy: Where are you from?
Girl: San Diego
Guy: Cool, what do you do there?

Most guys (especially on bootcamps) follow up questions with a ratifier (agreeing that what the girl said is cool or acceptable) followed by asking another question. This is BORING, and doesn’t demonstrate anything interesting or attractive about you.

There’s nothing inherently boring about the question but the way it’s followed up, makes me want to stab the fictional guy in the jaw.

Instead you want to use questions early on to either tease, transition to a new conversational subject or to relate and play up a commonality between you and the girl.

Let’s look at each of these:

Teasing
Guy: Where are you from?
Girl: San Diego
Guy: Uh oh SD girls love to party, mental note do not date this girl.

Transitioning
Guy: Where are you from?
Girl: San Diego
Guy: Oh I love San Diego I usually go down there to do a little surfing. I’m a big surfer and SD is great because…

Relating
Guy: Where are you from?
Girl: San Diego
Guy: I went to college in San Diego did you ever go to Roberto’s best mexican food ever…

=> Discover the Secrets of 5 Minute Chemistry

Now obviously there are unlimited ways to use questions when talking to a girl you’re attracted to, but this post should give you a good idea about how to use questions to keep a conversation moving forward.