Girls as Options Traders

One of the things that is hardest for guys to understand when it comes to dating is why women flake.

So to help you understand this I want to present a thought experiment.

Think of women especially attractive women as options traders every night of the week.

Now obviously there will be a couple of nights a week where she wants to relax, but for the most part attractive women in their 20s and early 30s are open to doing something most nights.

This is where the issue comes in, most guys believe they are WAY more important to women they just met than they actually are. The cold approach guy (Unless he really connected with the girl emotionally, or she’s new to town, doesn’t know many people etc) is going to be pretty low on the options list depending on where a girl is in her life (the exception here is if the girl is actively single and looking to date a lot).

Cold approach guy (CAG) is going to be below a guy she’s been crushing on for awhile, a great party, and any existing social obligation with her girls, co-workers etc…

So that sounds depressing right?

Not really because it gives us some ideas of how to alter our approach to getting girls out.

1. We need to start with low option nights. I was talking to Rob Judge yesterday and we were both amazed by how often new students will ask girls out for Fri or Sat and be surprised when the girl can’t make it/flakes. On a Fri and Sat there are LOTS of options!

Those are the nights most of her friends/etc will be going out. She’s also more likely to be attending parties or events (wedding showers, Openings). This is WAY less likely on a Tuesday.

I don’t ask girls out on Tuesdays because I think weekends are for meeting new girls or some other faux player mantra, I do it because it’s more effective and there’s less competition.

2. You need to present an attractive option. Going for dinner or a drink sounds boring. You need to build intrigue into your date by making it a surprise or really selling it.

I don’t just invite girls out for karaoke I invite them to the funniest, weirdest karaoke place ever… The more you make the date seem like something that is going to be really fun regardless of the fact she’s with you the better it will work.

3. You need to make it easy to say yes. This seems obvious but you’d be amazed how many guys try to over complicate things here with the girl. They want to tell her what to wear and they want it to be on their side of town that the girl has to take two trains and a bus to get to.

Make it easy for her, the easier it is to show up the more chances she will.

So the next time you’re asking a girl out on the phone or over text think of her as options trader and think of your date as the option you really want her to pick.