Locus Of Control and Pickup

In psychology they have a great term that makes you sound really smart and explains a lot of human behavior.

It’s the idea of internal Vs external loci of control.

Here’s how I think about it, let’s say you’re stuck in traffic probably because you live in Los Angeles but I digress. If you’re in traffic, the traffic is a part of your external locus of control in other words it’s out of your control, you can bang the wheel, honk, etc… but that traffic is going anywhere. There is nothing you can do to make the traffic disappear.

On the other hand your own reaction and the route you take while driving is very much within your internal locus of control. You can decide if you want to freak out or relax, and if you want to stay on the freeway or try surface streets and that’s about it.

Now when it comes to Pickup as much as other gurus would like you to believe that if you buy their product or take a bootcamp EVERYTHING will be within your locus of control, it’s not true.

Here’s some things that are within your control:
Your looks
How often you approach
Conversational tactics
How hard you push
Logistics on a date

Here’s things that are OUTSIDE your control:
What her type of guy is
If she’s in a relationship
How busy her life is
Whether or not she returns your initial call/text
Her logistics in a bar

My point here is to illustrate that inevitably there are things that are going to be outside of your control with women. Often times this will be frustrating but just knowing that you can’t control everything should bring a level of freedom and relaxation to your interactions as you realize you don’t have to nor is it possible to control everything.