Dating after getting dumped

Your clingy ex is doing you no favours as you try to enter the dating world.

How to get back into dating after a big breakup

Dating after you have just been dumped is intimidating. Here is how you can dive back in to dating.

Be worthy of dating

It is easy to let yourself go when you are comfortably in a relationship. Perhaps you have stacked on some weight, or have let some of your hobbies fall by the wayside. Now is the time to get back on track. You also want to be in a good mindset for dating. Nobody will want to date you if you are sad and bitter about being dumped. Make yourself into a catch by working on yourself, physically and mentally.

You don?t have to wait

Common wisdom says that you need to take some time out, for yourself, after getting dumped. You do not need to be so single-minded. You can work on everything mentioned above, while dipping your toes into the water of dating. There is a difference between starting small and waiting. Perhaps you should not be setting up online dating profiles in the days after your break-up, but going out to a local bar is a good option.

Talk to women

You may have forgotten how to flirt, particularly if you have emerged from a long relationship. Now is the time to learn. Try talking to different women, without any expectations. It is great if your conversations lead to something more, but for now, your main goal is practice. Your self-confidence may have taken a hit after you have just been dumped, so it is important to build it back up. Becoming comfortable with your social skills is one way of feeling more confident.

Ditch the ex

Having your ex-girlfriend hanging around will be seriously off-putting to other woman. You will certainly not be relationship material, and very few women would consider a casual liaison when you are clearly still attached. Stop texting your ex, certainly stop doing social things with her, and purge your social media of cute couple photos.

Moreover, stop mentioning your ex. Women do not want to hear about your last relationship when trying to chat you up. As with many topics, your last relationship should not be talked about unless you are asked a direct question. Discussing the fresh wounds of your most recent relationship is uncomfortable, and many women will change their minds about you upon realising you are not over your ex.

Don?t be too serious

After you have just been through the emotional drama of a relationship, you are used to talking through problems. Ideally, you have been discussing issues in earnest, and have not been afraid to speak your mind. While relationship experience is useful, dating is an entirely different world. Do not fall into the habits of a relationship when you begin seeing someone new. Honest conversations have their place, but the beginning stages should be about having fun.

When you are in a relationship, it is par for the course that you will be grumpy sometimes. Perhaps you are used to being your true self with your ex, and do not hide when you are feeling down. Again, this has no place in a new relationship, let alone a casual one. It takes time to get to that stage.