Cold approaches are tough.

If you?re a naturally introverted person, they can be down right frightening. It?s the same kind of fear you face going in for a job interview or when you give a big presentation.

Except, you know, you?re sexually attracted to the person you have to talk to.

Not only does a cold approach strike anxiety into any sane man, but most attractive women in social situations are on high alert.

So many creepy, aggressive, unattractive guys usually approach them in single a night that it?s become their natural defense mechanism to shoot down any potentially ?inferior suitor instantaneously.

How then do you stop yourself from becoming just another one of a girl?s many rejects in any given night?

It?s not a technique. It?s a mindset.

It?s Zen.

Zen is the inner truth that everything is and will be okay.

It?s confidence, it?s security, it?s being comfortable any situation, it?s being content with yourself and possessing the knowledge that, no matter what, you?re good- you’re intact.

There are two things you need to accept to get into this mindset;

?I?m not afraid to lose or go home empty handed because I don?t need validation.?

?I?m a genuinely attractive person and I don?t need to prove that to anybody.?

A lot of guys who want to become more confident and better at talking to women used to be those guys who would sit in the corner and mope at parties.

It?s very true that being totally withdrawn from social situations will get you nowhere fast. Nobody likes to be around negativity. It repels rather than attracts.

However, the reason most guys get shot down in flames when they do approach is that they come on like a ton of bricks.

They become ?Pitch Guy”.

Pitch Guy is the sleazy salesman yelling at you about all his “great deals” in every bad car dealer commercial you?ve ever seen.

It?s like you?re pitching a woman on the idea of sleeping with you. You?re trying to sell her on you.

In her eyes, it makes you look inauthentic and desperate. On a lot of levels, you appear no better than a cat-caller.

Again, appearing this way is seldom intentional, it?s usually done out of a nervous energy, but you?ve got to lose that. Believe you are good enough and you will be.

Calm, cool, collected, genuinely interested. Those are the signs of a guy who?s confident and worthy of her time.