Dos and Don’ts Of The Booty Call

It?s Saturday night at 1:00 a.m., your testosterone addled brain is screaming at you to take home a lady friend, so you send out that text.

The booty call text. The one that you?re hoping will actually get you laid tonight.

We?ve sort of demonized the booty call text in our modern society, because on the surface, they seem somewhat impersonal, shallow and vapid.

But the truth is, if done correctly and with the right intentions, a booty call is really fun. I mean, obviously there?s the sex involved, but beyond that, there?s a level of fun anticipation that goes along with a booty call.

You can actually make?the pay off of sex even more satisfying if you follow the Dos and Don?ts of a proper booty call.

DON?T: Be super drunk.

You shouldn?t really text any girl when you?re too drunk. Not only will you most likely have no game, but there?s a strong possibility that you?ll blow your chances with her completely. Even if she does respond, and you do hook up, your sexual performance might be entirely lackluster. That?s a recipe for a deflated ego and no repeat business

DO: Be direct.

A booty call is what it is, and at 1:00 a.m., ain?t nobody got time for no nonsense. You should be offering the booty call in three texts or?less. One if possible.

?Yup, this is totally a booty call.?

?I heard that making out with handsome guys named [your name] is in for 2015.?

?Pillow fight? Challenge accepted.?

?I?m here, what are your other two wishes??

Be playful and flirty, just the same as you would any text set. Half-joking is totally acceptable, but don?t forget to escalate quickly.

DON?T: Act out of desperation.

I?m a big advocate of not getting laid just to get laid. Don?t see this booty call as a last resort or something you?re doing to save your fragile little ego. On the contrary, use it as an opportunity to sleep with a girl that you really want to sleep with. Sure, you might have a few shots liquid courage in you, and that?s fine, so long as you?re not acting on an impulse that in your heart of hearts you know you didn?t really want to do.

DO: Use this as an opportunity to escalate.

If you?ve been flirting and building heaps of sexual tension with a girl, this could be a great opportunity to move things into the sexual realm. Try something like;

?Screw it. Let?s just get married.?

Followed by;

?Honeymoon practice run? My place??

Remember, you?re playing off the energy of the night here. Late night Friday and Saturday are like holidays, where the rules are all a little different. Everybody?s looking for a good time. We want to make the most of the night, party, meet somebody, fall in love, have sex. So capitalize on that mood and impulse.

DON?T: Be indecisive or awkward.

Don?t fumble with logistics at the last minute. Invite her over to your place. And when she shows up don?t try and underplay the situation or lose the sexual tension of the moment with small talk or nervousness.

DO: Make it sexy and exciting.

Things that really turn women on are anticipation and the idea of being ?naughty? or ?bad?, and you should be using that to your advantage here.

Once she?s agreed to come over, go all Mr. Grey on her. Limit your texts, but make sure everything is filled with sexual tension and build up. Limit your emojis and remember that right now, less is?actually more.

?See you soon?

?Can?t wait?

–Sound creepy on their own, but when the sexual tension is high, they work well.

There?s a taboo to the booty call and you can actually play that to your advantage. She should be feeling like she?s doing something that maybe she shouldn?t, but that she really wants to.

Now keep in mind, this sort-of “serious sexual tension” is?if the mood thus far as really called for it. If you?re dealing with a bang buddy, for example, you can remain a little silly and keep her laughing,

?I?ll meet you in the lobby, no promises that I?ll have pants on.?

Either way, you should get the action going as soon as you two are alone. Do away with the awkward, “uh, hey so…” phase. As soon as she closes your?door, you want to be mauling each other like starving tigers.

DON?T: Be a jerk after.

Again I have an emphasis on not sleeping with anybody that you?ll regret, and trying attracting repeat customers. So don?t be a jerk and kick her out right after. Hang out, throw on some Netlfix, maybe have some more sex in a little bit (TIP: If you don?t immediately put clothes on after sex, neither will she. It encourage a Round 2), let her take a shower if she wants. If she does want to take off, make sure she gets a cab and home safe etc.

DO: Make the sex awesome.

I think there?s a temptation to make a booty call mechanical. Like you?re just calling this girl over to basically just use her body to masturbate with.

There?s no point in getting this girl to come over for terrible sex. The whole idea behind wanting to get laid tonight was to keep the night going and to have an even more fun time, while possibly escalating an existing relationship. So make sure that you?re not too drunk, too tired or too selfish in the sack.

Again, you want this girl to crave more afterwards, and to not regret her decision.

Sleeping with somebody once is like eating something once. If it?s really good, you want more. So don?t burn any bridges.