Picking Up the Bartender

You have your eye on a particular lady at the bar- but she?s not there to have fun. She?s the bartender, who always seems to serve you with a smile and is happy to chat while during quiet periods. You?re not part of her inner circle- just one of her many customers. Do you have a chance?

She?s a challenge

Just because she has to talk to you when taking your order, doesn?t mean she likes you. Don?t make the mistake of thinking she is more accessible than other women in the club. She?s actually the biggest challenge there. The reasons for this are threefold. Firstly, she?s at work- unlike many other women, she is not there to pick up. Secondly, she?s stone-cold sober and will be totally unimpressed as you get more and more intoxicated as the night progresses. Thirdly, she is inundated with guys thinking they have a chance, so she?s used to saying no. Picking up a bartender is much more difficult than picking up a girl who is there to party.

Don?t talk to her when she?s busy

When she has a long line of customers to serve, or if it?s the end of the night and she just wants to clean up and go home, she is not going to want to stop and chat to you. By talking to her when she?s busy, you are being an annoying obstacle to her doing her job. Once you get on her nerves, it doesn?t matter if you?re the most charming guy on Earth, she will not give you a chance. Pick a time when the bar is quiet to go and chat to her. If she indicates that she has work to do, excuse yourself and tell her that you?ll come back and chat to her later. The huge advantage of her working behind the bar is that you can always pause your conversation with her and come back later.

Asking for free drinks isn?t flirting

Do you want her to get fired, thus ruining your chances of ever talking to her again? Asking her to serve you for free is never going to work. Even if she?s at no risk of getting fired for giving out a free drink or two, she will not be impressed. Begging for a free drink is not banter; it is annoying.

Don?t tell her she?s the most beautiful woman in the club

She has heard this hundreds of times before. Avoid feeding her clich?s– she will not be impressed. Chances are that no matter how unique you think your line is, she?s had plenty of guys say it to her before. Rather than make a comment about her appearance like most of the customers she secretly resents, you need to get to know her on a deeper level.

It?s a long-term project

If you?re just looking for someone to spend the night with, there?s no point hitting on a bartender. You need to get to know her before she will even consider you. You need to be the guy that is a friendly face; that she actually wants to talk to. Don?t even think about trying to pick up the bartender unless you?re prepared to let things progress slowly.