What She Thinks of You Being Friends With Your Ex
Getting a new girlfriend to accept that you?re still friends with the ex is never going to be easy. Negotiating boundaries is even more difficult if you are very close friends with your former flame. Your girlfriend may just not understand why you want to spend time with your ex, but if you?re the best of friends with her then you have every right to. Here are a few pointers on how to get your new girl to accept that you?re still close to your ex.
As much as your girlfriend will put on a fake smile and try to be nice to your ex, she will always resent her. Even if she gets along with your ex really well, it will be difficult for them to ever become friends. She?ll think that if you once had feelings for your ex, it would be easy for those feelings to arise again. She?ll always be a little bit uncomfortable knowing that you?re still friends with the woman you were with before she came onto the scene.
Because your girlfriend will hold resentment towards your ex, it?s best to keep them apart as much as possible. Yet, if you see your ex when you?re on your own, your girlfriend may become suspicious if she has any reason not to trust you. It is best if you see your ex in group scenarios, where you sometimes bring your girlfriend.
Whenever a female friend complains to me that her boyfriend is close friends with his ex, I tell her one magical sentence: ?Don?t worry about his ex, because he?s with you now?. Without fail, this makes her feel better. She still won?t like the ex, but she won?t feel threatened by her either.
Remind her that she has you and the ex does not. Tell your girlfriend that there?s a reason why you are no longer with your ex, and while it may be possible to be friends with her, it doesn?t mean you still have a romantic interest in her. Reassure your girlfriend, but don?t promise her that you?ll end the friendship, and don?t let her put any unreasonable conditions on your friendship. If you do still have hopes that one day you and your ex will get back together, just don?t mention it to your girlfriend- especially if she asks.
Being friends with your ex at least shows your current girlfriend that you are a decent guy. It?s likely that fate will eventually direct your girlfriend to be an ex, and unless she is very na?ve, she knows that you won?t be together forever. So she can take comfort in the fact that you probably won?t break off contact with her either once she is no longer your romantic interest. A mutually respectful relationship with your ex shows your current girlfriend that you can have a similarly healthy friendship with her in future.
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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/