You Too Can Be a Chainsaw-Armed, Self-Sufficient, Flat Tire-Changing Badass

For some reason, my car is fond of running over nails.

Boomstick!

Apparently it didn?t get the memo that I have no use for extra nails at this point (I have like three coffee cans full in my garage) and wish to cease all nail running-over until further notice.? As a result of my car?s lack of puncture resistance and forethought, I found myself with a flat tire this week. Luckily, I was able replace the flat with a donut, drive to the nearest auto shop and fork over my hard-earned $120. Sigh. Now I need to write more real estate listings.

The reason I bring up this tale of roadside nuisance is not to complain or bitch about the money I had to drop (I already did that to my girlfriend), but rather to highlight the importance of self-sufficiency and the ability to complete tasks on one?s own. Sure, replacing a flat tire is standard fare now, but you should have seen me the first time: I lifted the car, dropped it on the jack, and had some random guy do it for me. It was not a pretty sight. Fortunately, I figured it out by watching him and have felt pretty secure of my ability to change a tire ever since.

As a person who had to learn how to do a lot of manual labor-type work on my own, I know the pride that comes with taking on a challenge and figuring out how to accomplish things independently. In lay terms, this is the ability to ?get ?er done.? Knowing how to do things is key in establishing self-confidence.

So, when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, when zombies start devouring the earth and Taco Bell shuts down, are you going to be able to survive? Being able to take care of yourself and in a worst-case scenario, attach a chainsaw to where your right hand had once been, are positive traits that others admire. To be able to handle a difficult situation, be it a flat tire or a horde of deadites, is to be confident, a leader and a doer. Besides, women really dig guys with chainsaw arms.

I?ll bring up another auto-related issue to reinforce my point-of-view. One hot summer night, my girlfriend and I were making out like teenagers in the back of her car. Lost in the moment, we ended up draining the battery getting down to the sounds of Arcade Fire (her pick, not mine) for 45 minutes. Being the macho guy that I am, I grabbed the jumper cables from the back of my car, pulled up in front of hers and got that Prius up and running. She looked at me like I had just cured polio.

The ability to confront a situation, no matter how large or small, and succeed is the mark of a truly confident and able-bodied person. If there?s something you?re currently unable to do, be it changing oil in a car or swallowing swords, figure it out. Check out eHow or ask your dad when he?s not watching the game. Self-reliance is an essential building block for self-confidence.? Don?t feel helpless. One, it?s not attractive. Two, it only breeds further vulnerability.

For the time being, I have four fully-functioning tires on my car. Until I own a Batmobile, replete with bulletproof tires, I?ll have to deal with it if I happen to get a flat. Luckily for me, I now know what I?m doing. Time to get back to reading ?How to Equip Yourself With a Chainsaw Arm? on eHow.