How to Pick Me Up In The Gym

The Essence of Gym Game

Christmas jingles have been on loop since October, girls in strip clubs now come in Santa Claus bikinis and at the Daygame podcast we found ourselves pondering this new season of Daygaming. We agreed it made going for an instant date (“You know what, it’s freezing out here, let’s go grab a coffee”) easier and that women would be more inclined to be swept away by the romantic vibe of the season.

Being a regular gym-goer I also pointed out the other bonus: better quality gym game. As England is in constant panic over our national nemesis snow even the most hardened exercise fanatics amongst women kind will be forced to give up on their thermals, slip into some lycra shorts and go to a yoga class at the gym instead.

Gym game, though, is a tough nut to crack: and unfortunately I have no killer formula for success yet. However, after some experimentation (and being unwillingly experimented on by Arnie types in search of a date) I at least have a few guidelines about how to go about picking a girl up whilst pumping iron.

The First Cardinal Sin

The first cardinal sin is what I’d like to nickname the ‘gym neg’. The “You shouldn’t be lifting a weight like that, here let me show you a better maneuver” line. Even times when this has been well meant it hasn’t gone down well with me at all, and caused me to inwardly bark, “I’m a qualified fitness instructor I’ll have you know.” The problem is people don’t usually enjoy being told something about themselves by a stranger. That pesky second person ‘you’ is fantastic for teasing a girl, but I’d avoid it when opening. Instead try and say, “I think, I believe, in my opinion etc.” It’s harder to go wrong with a statement if it’s clear that it is your opinion.

Also, think about giving some positivity towards whoever you’re approaching. A compliment will always leave a much nicer impression than a correction (besides when guys effectively nag me about how to do something correctly they somehow remind me of my dad):

“Hey, I like how you’re doing the dead lift: it’s good to see someone throwing themselves into it and not just sitting on an exercise bike for an hour. I don’t know about you, but I’m very into weights.”

Also loading your opening statement with comments not only about what she’s doing but how it relates to you will help you to ease into a natural flow of conversation.

Relate To Your Environment

I also think it’s worthwhile using an opener that is related to the environment you’re in, unless you want to go direct. I’ve had a few occasions where guys have asked me if I’m Italian/ Eastern European/ any other nationality in order to open. The problem is within a gym environment this seems particularly disingenuous as people are generally there to work out not pick up. Don’t leave them thinking, ‘Why is that guy speaking to me instead of working out?’

In line with this also think about how long you’re going to try and stay in set for. It’s counter intuitive usually, but in a gym environment coming in and out of set can be a valuable tactic. Trying to stop a sexy Amazonian woman on  a treadmill to run the cube on her is unrealistic and unnatural. Looking predatory in a very closed environment like a gym where a lot of people recognize each other is also a high risk strategy. I’d be more indirect and try to work with the dynamic of the situation instead of going against it. Just like if you’re trying to pick up a girl at work you may not want to compete for her attention (and stress her out) when her boss is looking over her shoulder. If a girl seems really into her work out maybe try and give her some value by making her smile, and then you can send her back to her work out. This prevents her from being distracted by what she should be doing, leaves her on a high, and allows you to control the duration of the set and thereby lead effectively. It’s also so subtle, that if it goes well there are great grounds to re-open the set later on or another day:

“(gesturing to take headphones out) I just had to say I like how you’re listening to Miley Cyrus whilst doing a bench press: it’s kind of unconventional. I’m listening to Metallica which isn’t such a fun contrast,”

“I’m curious how you ever managed to do that stretching exercise thing? I do a lot of triathlons so could probably do with working on my limbering.”

“I like how you have a protein shake. It shows that you’re serious about this gym thing. Chocolate is my favorite flavor.”

“(whilst on adjacent CV equipment) I’m beating you…;-)”

By building natural (and by that I mean something that doesn’t seem premeditated) conversation it will allow you to enter the same set, or lots of different sets, without ever giving the game away that you’re in the gym for the lycra clad ladies and not the body pump class. Get practicing your indirect, slow burn game now, and you’ll be picking up gym bunnies before they can say, ‘New Year’s Resolution.’

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