How To Flirt With Women, Part 1

Being Blunt Is Not The Best Path

In the movie ?A Beautiful Mind,? the mathematical genius John Nash walks up to a woman, plops his tush on a barstool next to hers and says, ?I don?t exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me. But could we just assume I said all that? I mean, essentially what we are talking about here is fluid exchange, right? We could just skip straight to the sex.?

Her eyes open wide, each one bulging almost out of its socket and simmering with anger. From behind her red painted lips she gushes a wry, ?Oh, that was sweet.?

He smiles ear-to-ear and nods his head in a way that could only mean ?that went well.?

Then she wallops him across the face with the palm of her hand and fires a harsh, ?Have a nice night, asshole.?

If you want to try Nash?s ?charming? pick up line on a woman, go ahead. Be my guest. But invest in some headgear to take the brunt of the fist she?ll swing at your skull.

Too bad.

If this gambit made women waft their eyes at your crotch and demand, ?Bend me over and drill your notorious B.I.G into my pink taco,? you?d have a permanent smile plastered to your face. Alas, only master woodsmen like Ron Jeremy and Lexington Steele live out post-pubescent fantasies of this ilk (and only while filming porn.)

If you want to get back inside the same warm hole you spent nine months struggling to escape, you?ll have to venture into the murky underworld of illogical mating games collectively called ?flirting?.

Flirting Is Necessary

All of us can tell when two people are flirting: you can almost feel the spark of electricity between them. But few men know the essential features of flirting and even fewer can flirt with women at their whim. It?s just something that spontaneously happens between them and a woman once in a great while.

It?s not our fault. Most parents, teachers, books, and movies instill in us the belief that to get the girl of our dreams, we need to woo her over with expensive dinners, bankrupting jewelry, and lavish vacations. (As a side note, I remember the first time I squandered my money away on a fancy dinner for a woman. Instead of making her panties wet, it churned and bloated her belly.) This belief not only cripples our chances with women but also blinds us from seeing these essential features. But if you could somehow dredge up these essential features you could flirt with women at your will.

Well, you?re in luck. After years of studying social dynamics and purging every last morsel of this cancerous belief from my brain, I?ve unearthed these essential features. In this letter, I?m going to share them with you and teach you how to use them on women.

Essential Feature # 1: The Uncertain Possibility

?What Is Flirting? One might say that it is a behavior leading another to believe that sexual intimacy is possible, while preventing that possibility from becoming a certainty. In other words, flirting is a promise of sexual intercourse without a guarantee.?

— Milan Kundera, Unbearable Lightness Of Being

To demonstrate Kundera?s lesson, let?s take an example from the MTV show ?Jersey Shore.? Aspiring Lotharios Pauly and Vinny want to go on a double date with girls they met the night before at a nightclub. Vinny calls up his girl and says, ?Hey, it?s Vinny. What are you doing tonight??

She says, ?Tonight I have no plans.?

He says, ?I dunno if you met my friend Pauly with the spiky hair but we might go to this little restaurant and then maybe out afterwards. He might call… um… some girl. I need a sympathy date. You know what I mean? I don?t want to be left out.?

She gives him a sympathy, ?Aw!?

He asks, ?Do you want to do me that favor??

She cedes him a hesitant, ?Alright.? He feels confident that she is coming. Unfortunately, to his chagrin, she flakes.

Pauly takes a different approach. He calls up his girl and says, ?I want to take out the girl I?m in love with.?

She says, ?Aw!?

He follows up with, ?But then I figured you could come too.?

She starts laughing like a hyena seconds before feasting on its prey and says, ?Not funny. That?s so not funny.?

As you could probably guess, she shows up. Why did Pauly?s girl show up and Vinny?s flake? Vinny?s Casanova skills were as smooth as a grandmother?s butt strewn with gray stubble, dimpled with cellulite, and pocked with assne. His phone conversation was fraught with problems: from stuttering to beating around the bush and beseeching her for a ?sympathy? date. But the real culprit was that he didn?t spark sexual tension. He failed to flirt with her.

Pauly did the opposite. His flirtatious approach sparked sexual tension by leading her to believe that sexual intimacy with him was possible yet not certain.

If your interactions with women lack sexual tension, do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of my book Real World Seduction 2.0.