How to Handle Put-Downs Like a Pro
When you?re a social dynamo, socializing and talking to lots of people, you?ll often bump into people who will tease you along the way. It?s a natural part of life and can be pretty fun way to banter with people.
For me it was a NIGHTMARE.
When I was younger I didn?t know how to handle people if they made fun of me. I would just uncomfortably squirm and lose face, which ensured that I kept a low profile in bars, clubs and at parties.
I mean, picture it. You?re in a bar talking to a pretty girl and her adoring friends. Suddenly, a dominant male with Adonis looks and no neck strolls right up to you:
?Hey buddy, your t-shirt looks like a dog has been sick on it!?
Before you know it, his well aimed and witty put-down has just hit you and everybody in earshot heard. He?s funny, brash and bigger than you and his timing hits you with all the force of a stampeding elephant in lead diving boots.
How do you respond?
You decide you don?t want to end up in a bar fight and figure that your only chance to stay looking ?cool? in front of the girls is to act speechless at the dirty dig dealt to you. You remain silent with, at best, a wry smile of your face.
You blew it.
You get laughed at, and to make matters worse, your girl is making eyes at another guy. Still, you fool yourself into thinking that you took his remark on the chin like a tough guy. Deep down you know you he makes you feel a little insecure. At some point in our lives, many of us have had that feeling of being the butt of jokes and insults- and the feeling of being fed up because you never know what to say back in time that will elegantly put your new friend in his place. Personally, it used to frustrate me something chronic.
I?m pleased to tell you that you can easily counter the affect of any derogatory remark directed at you by smiling, ARGEEING and then adding even MORE content to what was said at you. One simple way to do this is by saying ?YES, AND? to whatever has been said. Do this with a grin and be light hearted.
For example:
Guy: ?Hey dude your t-shirt look like a dog has been sick on it.?
You: ?YES AND I can smell it on your breath too.?Guy: ?Hey dude your t-shirt look like a dog has been sick on it.?
You: ?YES AND you should’ve seen what it ate!?Guy: ?Hey dude your t-shirt look like a dog has been sick on it.?
You: ?YES AND you should see how it smells! Fancy a sniff??
Do you get the idea?
It?s not so important what you say, just that you speak quickly. Say the first thing that comes into your head; doing so allows you to deliver a lightning fast response, and smoothly. Prefixing what you say with the phrase ?YES AND? tricks your brain into giving an automatic, positive response that enhances the original insult and takes wind out of your accuser?s sails. You make it yours.
Insults have no power over you if you agree with them. In fact, it shows confidence and self security that you can laugh at yourself.
Furthermore, adding to the content of the insult will not only enhance the moment, it will discreetly steal big guy?s thunder; much to the delight of any onlookers.
The biggest error that most people make is to take it silently and not even say the first thing that comes into their head. Even smiling and saying: ?Bleugh… bleugh… bleugh? is better than a wall of silence while your brain attempts to crank into action.
Another mistake is trying to reject or disagree with what they?ve said, as this leads to hostility. This is because it blocks the vibe of the conversation and publicly destroys the (supposed) light heartedness of the original jibe.
So the next time someone tries ?yanking your chain,? don?t take it lying down and don?t pick a fight, either way you lose. Accept it, enhance it, make it yours and you?ll find yourself walking away the bigger man!
You can download his free eBook “How To Talk To Anybody Without Fear?Of Rejection: 21 Secrets To Conversational Mastery” at?http://www.yourcharismacoach.com/
About Marcus Oakey Marcus is a charisma coach and specialist in communication skills. His job is to get all eyes on you, by coaching your social skills to a level beyond what you picked up at any school, college or training course. Today Marcus teaches people from all walks of life effective and powerful conversation skills, and that often elusive ingredient – charisma!