Link Trifecta: Today in Don’t Get Fat News

After spending about 5 minutes on the Internet this morning, I realized it was trying to tell me something: Don’t get fat.

Nearly every story I clicked on was about how being overweight will ruin your life! Usually, I would just pick the most interesting story out there and highlight it with this Daily Buzz post. But since the nefarious Leprechauns that are controlling the Internet are obviously sending me signals, I thought I’d just make today’s post a clearinghouse, of sorts, for the most important weight loss-related news of the day.

First up we have this upsetting news out of Men’s Health regarding what obesity does to a man’s sperm count. (Hint: It’s not good.) Luckily, to combat this destructive force, the website has put together a pretty great package for how to stay fit even if you’re on the road traveling. Here’s their tip for avoiding the fast food trappings of waiting around an airport terminal:

Pack more than your clothes “These days, the food you put in your carry-on bag is every bit as vital as the clothes you put in your suitcase,” says Pamela Peeke, M.D., Ph.D., author of Fight Fat after Forty. So pack travel-friendly foods like snack packs of StarKist Tuna Salad and Crackers, beef jerky, and low-calorie meal-replacement bars, powders, and ready-to-drink shakes like Meso-Tech.

Next up in our collection of weight-related news is this story from BBC which states that drinking water before meals helps the dieting process. Why? Basically because you’re filling your body with a zero calorie filler right before you eat, meaning you will want to eat less during the meal and dieting will be easier. Makes sense, right?

And finally, if you get to the point in your life that you’re celebrating your 107th birthday, then maybe it’s time to put these health tips on the back burner and just splurge a little on a worthwhile culinary celebration. Like, say, this 107-year-old who celebrated his birthday in Florida (of course, Florida) by eating an enormous fucking cake. Fat Bonus: The cake was designed in the shape of a Big Mac.

Keep it healthy out there, boys and girls.