Topical Cream, 8.13.10

How not to score: Man, this guy may never get a date again. Bo Wyble is the fella who sat in the outfield at a Houston Astros game with his girlfriend, who told him before hand that she was afraid of getting hit by a foul ball. So, when one comes their way, what does he do? He runs away and lets her get hit. Guess what? They broke up. And she cute, too.

You motorboatin? sonofabitch: Originally, I was just going to write about how cool it is that Chicago has an Air and Water Show, because I thought it was great that they combine the two high-octane events into one. Then I saw something even cooler. Vince Vaughn is going to jump out of an airplane from 12,000 feet as part of this year?s festivities. Extra points if he lands on a moving powerboat. Vince Vaughn is awesome.

The Expendables: The cast skews a bit old in this tale of mercenaries in the jungle, but the action-flick pedigree is impeccable as a result. Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke and Eric Roberts are the old dudes. Jet Li, Jason Statham and MMA stud Randy Couture will no doubt handle the more athletic feats. There?s some flimsy plot structure about these guns-for-hire going into South America and being set up or betrayed, but you?ve heard all that before. I give it about ten minutes tops before bodies start falling and one-liners start flying.

The Unexpendables: Esquire turns the notion of the movie outlined above on its head, changing out male stars for female actionistas. Demi Moore, Kate Beckinsale, etc. And my favorite, Zhang Zhiyi of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon fame.

Golfer/Model: The Anna Kournikova of golf? You say that like it?s a bad thing. Sophie Horn has some junior championships on her resume, but she mainly seems to use her ability to swing a golf club as a gimmick to get us to notice how freaking hot she is. Mission accomplished.

TED, the building: When I glanced at the image of the TED building — which is actually being built in Taiwan ? I thought it was an outtake from Inception. It?s one massive cube with dazzling cut-through views and generally revolutionary design everywhere. It?s really not something one can describe: just click on the link and check it out. Incredible.

The perfect punch: No, this isn?t about fighting. The link above is the rather simple recipe for black cherry rum punch. It?s seriously the perfect rum punch recipe for a mid-sized party, because it?s sweet enough for the ladies and yet packed with three types of rum for a real booze kick. You may want to double or triple the recipe, but once you serve it, your friends will demand that you make it forever after.