Let’s All Avoid STDs!

There are two basic extremes people can do to avoid getting the dreaded STD on your equipment:

Extreme One: Don’t fuck anyone.
Extreme Two: If you DO plan on fucking someone, first walk the person to an STD test yourself, get that test notarized by about three different doctors (all of whom you’ve previously done background checks on to make sure they don’t have any outstanding betting debts or other easily blackmailable things hanging over them), put on at least three condoms, and go to town.

Now none of us here are going to perform the 1st extreme because, well, we all like having sex. And the 2nd extreme certainly seems like a lot of work for not a lot of reward. So where does that leave us?

Sticking on a condom, getting regularly tested, not banging a whole lot of women at once … these are all basics we’ve all been taught since day one. But, still. If you have enough sex, one of those pesky STDs are going to eventually get through. That’s simply knowing the odds. (Condoms only protect you so good, and for so long.) Luckily, if you know you have the STD soon enough, a lot of them are treatable and you can manage your life around them. The trick, then, is knowing the symptoms of certain STDs and how you can go about diagnosing them.

This is all a long way to point you in the direction of this Men’s Health article that offers a quick summary of various STDs, including how to protect yourself, what symptoms go with which diseases, and how to treat them. For example, here’s the various symptoms when it comes to the dreaded syphilis:

Primary syphilis: An ulcer, or sore, at the infection site
Secondary syphilis: A rash, which may look like “copper penny” spots or fine red dots on palms or soles of feet; a skin rash on arms, legs, and trunk that can take many forms like small blotches, indented circles, small pus-filled blisters, or thick gray and pink patches; white patches inside the mouth and other mucous membranes
Other symptoms: Enlarged lymph nodes, fever, headaches, muscle aches, sore throat, poor appetite, weight loss, feeling extremely tired
Latent stage: No symptoms, but one-third progress to the tertiary stage
Tertiary syphilis: Severe organ damage: destructive tumors (gummas), chest pain or breathing difficulties related to heart damage, symptoms related to joint damage, symptoms of damage to nerves and brain

Not very pleasant. Anyway, the article is a nice place to get some basic understanding of the various STDs out there and what to do if you think you have them. Happy Monday everyone! Keep it safe out there, boys.