Topical Cream, 7.30.10

The MatriXXX: You may remember Laurence Fishburne as Morpheus in the ground-breaking sci-fi movie. Turns out, he has an 18-year-old daughter named Montana, and she?s shooting, ahem adult features for Vivid video. The really odd part is that the younger Fishburne uses the porn name Chip-D when she was already named Montana Fishburne.

Dinner for Schmucks: This is the kind of movie where the premise is totally secondary to the casting. Steve Carrell, Zach Galifinakis and the severely underrated Paul Rudd represent enough comedy street cred to get me to watch anything. All they have to do is play themselves and I?m hooked. The movie opens this weekend.

Angelina?s still got it: Some day, she?ll get old. Everybody does eventually. But right now, the 36-year-old actress has shown no signs of losing her mojo. She?s currently starring in the big-budget action film Salt, and decided to add a little buzz to the flick?s Japanese premiere by wearing a black dress that was made notable by a creative, flesh-baring cut of the fabric.

Mashups rule: This one is the tender-hearted Pixar film UP mixed with the new hotness Inception. Enjoy.

Space Invaders: My next-door neighbor let me play Pong on his TV set when I was a kid. Since then, I?ve made sure to have one or two up-to-date gaming systems in my home at all times. Despite the fact that I can now wave my hand and fight monsters on the Wii, I still itch to go back to a simpler time and just blast slow-marching rows of bug-aliens sometimes. Designer Igor Chak has build the perfect chair for those of us who miss the simple days of Space Invaders.

Ready? OK!: In Oklahoma, the warning sign should read ?Shoplifters will be systematically destroyed by roving cheerleaders? That?s exactly what happened when a sixteen-year-old girl saw a thief running toward her while she was talking on the phone. She said ?hold on a sec, mom? and proceeded to body-slam the perp. If the guy needed an extra hint that crime does not pay, consider the message delivered.

Metal Bikini: This story is great on so many levels. A burlesque performer has decided to corner the nerd market by doing some sexy dancing dressed as Princess Leia, The Bride of Frankenstein, and that sexy green lady from classic Star Trek. This is genius: nerds have lots of money. The other aspects of the story that I truly cherish include the fact that the performer is named Penny Star, Jr. despite the fact that Penny Star, Sr. is not her mother but her grandmother. I also loved this line: “I think of myself as a nerd first; then a filmmaker; and, finally, a dancer,” she said. “All of these things fuel each other.” To update the classic Trek intro, it?s starting to look like Space stripping will be the final frontier.