Topical Cream, 7.23.10

: Have you ever noticed that the Wonderbra is always advertised using photos of women who have absolutely no use for it? English model is one such woman. Cognitive dissonance aside, it?s lovely to meet her.

If you see only one documentary this summer?: Usually, this is the time of year when every movie is about explosions. On the other hand, could there be a better documentary subject than Hugh Hefner? This film about the founder of Playboy magazine was directed by a woman, which is intriguing. It is also rated R, which is somewhat anticlimactic. But it?s art, we suppose.

Inception: This Matrix-y thriller, on the other hand, takes a novel approach to re-zoning via bending and rolling of entire neighborhoods. At least, that?s what it looked like in the trailers. Early buzz has been that this is a mind-bendingly good looking film, and if you don?t happen to follow it so well, or find it implausible or derivative, well? it still looks good.

Power your iPod with water: A company called Horizon has created a new device called the HyrdoFILL. It?s a small hydrogen generator that emits electrical power when filled with ordinary water. It?s not a ton of power, but it?s enough to charge up your various gadgets. I know what you?re saying: ?what?s the catch?? It costs $500 bucks. Still, very cool.

Bad advice: Somewhere between Dear Abby and Penthouse letters is the right answer to the poor 20-year-old bisexual dearie who finds herself attracted to her (straight, female) best friend. Abby tells her to get involved with someone else and let time heal her wounds. Boooring. If porn has taught me anything, it?s that you not only ask your friend to skinny dip in the hot tub, but you casually invite the mullet-wearing meter reader to join you after a five-second pause for false modesty.

Speaking of porn?: Did you know Ron Jeremy was in Ghostbusters?! Brings a whole new meaning to the line ?don?t cross the streams.? Also funny: the writer of the linked article used Jeremy?s name in the same sentence with the phrase ?containment unit explodes.?

Telemundo: I watch it for the articles. Seriously, though. It?s fun to watch a big soccer game on the Spanish-language networks, and you can pick up some helpful phrases for the next time you visit Mexico. The best thing about south-of-the-border TV is the women. Oy, the women! Fortunately, Esquire has the wherewithal to put together a slide show of the hottest imports.