Topical Cream, 4.02.10

No longer curious? (video auto-plays) Anna Paquin is bi. She blew right by bi-curious and straight into bi-sexual, according to the new PSA from wegiveadamn.org. Seeing as how she also has sex with vampires in the pay-cable series True Blood, we?d say she?s actually trisexual, in that she?ll tri anything at least once.

Clash of the Titans In this retelling of a Greek myth, Liam Neeson is Zeus, which you can tell because he?s got a beard, wears white robes and blurs across the screen like a VCR tape with bad tracking (old school reference, don?t sweat it). Ralph Feinnes is Hades, god of the Underworld, mostly because of Harry Potter, we?d guess. But there?s lots of roaring monsters, slinky costumes and decapitations to keep you entertained, and advance screenings got rave reviews. Out this weekend.

Starbucks has fun at its own expense: The insistence on silly terms like ?Venti Latte? at Starbucks is an annoyance we?ve all learned to live with. At least the company knows its being absurd. An April Fool?s day prank on readers of the coffee franchisee?s site introduced the new sizes Micra (like a shot glass) and Plenta (movie-theater popcorn bucket). Well played, corporate overlords, well played.

American Naval might: I feel like, back in the day, pirating was a lot more fun. Sailing around the tropics with cups of grog, wearing puffy shirts and picking off unarmed merchant vessels. It was a lifestyle choice. Now, the world?s pirates wear raggedy t-shirts and pick fights with the wrong class of fish entirely. Yesterday, five Somali buccaneers staged a daring midnight raid on? a U.S. missile frigate. In ye olden days, naval officers were allowed to sink, burn or capture pirate ships, and in this case, our swabbies pretty much did all three.

?A slight aftertaste of ones and zeros?: Google now has its own beer. My favorite part of the announcement is this explanation of how they visualized the brewing process: ?Teresa Boze a fellow Beer and Blogger brought me into this project to help recruit a brewery to create a special beer that represents the sustainability, quality, innovation and creativity that is Portland, Oregon.? So, the beer tastes like marijuana, fiber-optic cable and rain?

Everything?s coming up RSA: South Africa is finally reaping the rewards that come from joining the modern world of race relations. The World Cup will be awarded there this summer, the movie District 9 was filmed there and there?s even a South African restaurant in my local strip mall. On top of all that, now we have Candice Swanepoel, the new Victoria?s Secret model. The beaches there must be absolutely glorious.