Reality Transitions: How To Smoothly Go From Stranger To Sex

Whenever guys approach girls, it?s?a lot like Looney Tunes. Everything is animated, reactions get exaggerated, and people act like caricatures of themselves. Often the approach involves a bit of a ?sing and dance? from the gents, a bit of shock and awe from the ladies, and, all in all, the entire scene plays out like a 1920s silent film (it just needs a Scott Joplin ragtime soundtrack.)

People simply don?t act ?human? when they approach (or are approached by) strangers. No matter how tight or ?natural? you think your game is, you?re never going to be as ?normal? when you approach as when you get to know and feel comfortable around a girl. Once you accept that, you can start working to reduce the ?friction? as you move from a stranger to sex; or, as I like to call it, as you ?transition into reality.?

Essentially, there are 3 crucial moments when reality floods an interaction, creating a ?make or break? moment: 1.) after opening, 2.) life outside of the venue, 3.) back at you place.

Reality Transition 1: Going from random guy ?hitting on her?? to cool guy ?vibing with her?

When you approach women, it doesn?t matter if you go direct or indirect, whether you say she?s sexy as fuck or that if you weren?t gay she?d totally be your type (even though she has fake nails), you?re hitting on her, brosef. Regardless of the trickery or buffoonery you?re using to ?slip under the radar,? girls know what?s up: you?re talking to her because you want to get with her.

So once you get the ?I?m-here-to-fuck formality? out of the way, transition into a vibe as normal and smoothly as possible. It?s the elusive obvious, but often guys continue to ?game? girls for two reasons:

– They?re living in denial of the ?fuck formality? so they think they?re being ?sneaky? by chatting away. If a girl?s talking to you for more 2 minutes, she knows you?re trying to have sex with her. It?s not a secret, sly. But, by ?pretending? it is, guys over-game girls and fail to actually transition into vibing with her like a normal human being. It?s the ultimate irony: by pretending they?re not trying to have sex with girls, guys wind up making it offensively obvious they ARE trying to have sex with girls.

– They lack the common sense to isolate her. Think about it: have you ever sexually escalated a situation in front of a girl and all her friends? Of course you haven?t. Any self-respecting girl wants discretion and privacy before moving an interaction forward physically. By not moving a girl to a secluded location, guys will just chat away, spinning their wheels as they futilely attempt to keep their ?song and dance? going.

The key to smoothly transitioning from ?hitting on her??to ?vibing with her? is a two-step process: 1.) admit you?re attracted to her, 2.) genuinely ask to be alone with her. Just to clarify, when I say ?admit you?re attracted to her,? I don?t mean you necessarily have to tell her. You can be subtle about it, but keep in mind she already knows why you?re talking to her, so you should too.

So remind yourself: You?re attracted to her and want to get to know her. Then use that ?admission? to shift into step 2, simply saying, ?Hey, I?m really enjoying talking to you. Let?s go sit somewhere quieter so we can actually get to know one another.?

Reality Transition 2: Going from ?fun stranger guy??to ?guy she?d hangout with?

Without a doubt, this reality transition is the biggest headache for most guys. Any guy who?s had a surprise ?flake? (which every guy has had, by the way) knows how frustrating this transition can be. The harsh truth is that the easiest way to avoid this situation is to hold her hand (literally) through it (that means taking her home quickly after meeting her).

Even if you don?t have sex that night, often if you leave a venue with a girl, there?s a much high probability she?ll meet up with you later. And that?s because you successfully transitioned from ?hot venue guy? to ?hot real person guy.? Often guys mess up this transition for one lethal reason: They?re failing to give women a reason to see them again.

Guys do this by acting insincere, by not seeding a future fun activity or, most commonly, by deflating all the sexual tension by being the tacky make-out guy at the club. Hey, I love tonguing down babes in public as much as the next guy, but I know that by doing that, I?m severely lowering my chances of ever seeing her outside of where I met her. Over-escalating sexually deflates an interaction of ALL its sexual tension, which deflates any possibility of seeing her again. Kissing babes should increase sexual tension, not destroy it. Use sexual escalation in public places judiciously (unless you?re Aaron Sleazy).