Ask Your Wingman – Homecoming

This is the beginning of what I hope to be a good college series for this month. I am going to talk about the different aspects of college, whether you?re a freshman or a recent grad. If you have questions about being the man in college, send them to thomas@tsbmagazine.com.

So I?ve been getting a few questions about college homecoming and what really goes down. This actually might be good for graduating seniors but this will be especially good for recent grads. I?ve been able to go to one of my homecomings and let me tell you, it is one massive party. You can reconnect with people who were your boys, relive stories, see how screwed up your ex-girlfriends turned out, see old professors that used to think you wouldn?t amount to anything, and you drink heavily. One thing that also lies true is that it can be a total hookup party. There are parties going on everywhere and you need to set yourself up for major success if you want to hook up with the lead cheerleader that didn?t even look your way while you were on campus.

Mentality. Chances are, you don?t live on campus so you?ll only be around for max three days. That mentality that I talked about when I was in Jamaica is exactly what you should have. You are going to an academic resort. You?re going to college without having to deal with college. Your sole purpose is to party. No one will crack down on you. You?re a true adult. You can do what you want. So do it.

Whatever it is that you are doing now (even if it?s nothing), make it sound amazing. Yup, embellishment is key because the better you sound, the more attractive you are. So make it a point that when people ask you, ?so what are you doing these days?? or ?what do you do for work??, have something that will blow them away and make you look like a rockstar.

This is the easiest time to ask people if they?re single. Most people who go to homecoming are actually single. No, I don?t have the actually statistics to prove it but from experience and from listening to other friends who?ve gone to their homecomings, it?s true. Find out who?s single or whom they?re seeing these days. You never know. College sweethearts may hate each other now and that smoke-show that was on lockdown by the quarterback might actually be available now. Then again, that girl you crushed on your senior year might have found someone since she left school. There?s no shame in asking because everyone is trying to catch up with what people are doing. A question like that is just a part of the conversation.

Impress people with your newly-found maturity. Remember that guy you hated? Or that girl that you couldn?t stand? Be civil when you see them and try not to make a face. You?ll get bonus points if you approach them and ask how they are doing. Leaving your past issues behind you makes you not only look like a new man but makes people wonder what you have going on that has made you so chill these days. I remember I approached a guy who I never got along with, shook his hand, and asked him what he was up to. Everyone was so surprised that people were approaching me about what had happened between us since we left school. I told the truth. Nothing, I just moved on. But I guess you can say anything to make it sound cool.

You?re back in college. Nothing has changed. When you go to a house party, the same rules still apply, except that now everyone (or most people) have jobs and have their own place. Use this intel to your advantage and have no shame in your advances. Relive old memories, create new ones and have a blast.

The whole idea here is to show up a million times better than when you left. If you can pull that off, your social value will be through the roof. And if there is any time you can almost guarantee yourself some action it?s back in college during homecoming. And let?s not forget tailgating parties and homecoming games!