New iPhone Commercial Showcases Amazing New Features

Oh, that Steve Jobs. Always with his finger on the pulse of America, knowing just what various iPhone applications are necessary for iUsers to live their iLives to the iFullest. Whether it be a place to find the best, most cost-effective food in your area (UrbanSpoon) or the ability to throw out your variously-pitched whoopee cushions for a single flatulence noisemaker (iFart), Apple always knows just what features to release onto an unsuspecting society.

Just take a look at what’s on the slate for this upcoming year:

Obviously, it’s a joke. But if no one actually tries developing the software mentioned in the video that allows you to find someone on Match.com who looks incredibly like your old girlfriend, I’ll be ashamed at everyone involved with the computer programming industry.