TSB Labs: Inventing New Mountain Dew Flavors

Last Monday TSB was invited out to Mountain Dew’s Flavor unveiling party. I vaguely recall a brief conversation with some of Mountain Dew’s flavor scientists. As Mike Stoute and I (drunkenly) rattled off flavors, every now and then we would guess one that they already tried and it had failed…  While we didn’t guess it, my personal favorite was Doritos.

The conversation gets a little fuzzy at this point, but  I was struck by a moment of genius. In my drunken haze I “borrowed” a bottle of the Mountain Dew secret sauce. Literally the base formula that they add their flavors to…. it’s sort of iridescent and looks like it might glow in the dark and tastes a bit bland.  I assume that I planned to drink it at the time, but some how the bottle made it back to TSB headquarters…

Statement of the Problem: There aren’t enough Mountain Dew flavors
Hypothesis: Common house items will be tasty in Mountain Dew
Materials: Mountain Dew base flavor, Pickle Juice, Taquella, Vodka Sauce, Honey, Black Label Whiskey, Mustard, Heavy Cream, Maple Syrup, Franks Red Hot, BBQ Sauce, Oatmeal
Procedure: Mix Mountain Dew base with above flavors… enjoy.

Results (Data):

Pickle Juice – This had a bit of a salty bitter taste, but had a great mouth feel. Definitely had hints of earthiness.
Tequila – This was the best of the bunch, but it was mostly because the dew made the Tequila a bit more bearable.
Franks Red Hot – No…. at this point I begin to question why I am doing this to myself…
Vodka Sauce – Looked like vomit, tasted like vomit… stay far away from this
Honey – Made the dew way too sweet… I tried with a little less and something about the honey taste just throws it off… stick to the mountain dew throw back with real sugar.
Black Label Whiskey – What a waste of good whiskey :/
Mustard – This wasn’t half bad. Not what I would call refreshing, but it had character…. it could work with the correct party mix.
Heavy Cream – This was surprisingly good. It had a hit of root beer float that makes me interested in trying to make a float with vanilla ice cream and Mountain Dew.
Maple Syrup – Like honey but with a more bearable after taste… Smooth finish, this could work.
BBQ Sauce – Better then Red Hot and Vodka Sauce but definitely in the bottom 4.
Oatmeal – It wasn’t bad until the oatmeal bits hit my tongue… worst mouth feel ever.

Conclusion: Stick to mountain Dew’s flavors… there is a reason why Doritos didn’t make it out of the testing room.

BONUS for people who have read this far! Mountain Dew gave away some pretty nifty swag at their party. Whoever leaves the best, worst idea for a new dew flavor in the comments gets one of their party packs. You’ll get a bottle of their new flavor Ultra Violet, a T-Shirt, A USB key, some pretty fly RayBan sunglasses and the nifty case it comes it.