TSB Labs: Testing Mandles

When Mike Stoute asked me to head over to the Mandle Company and pick out a few scents for us to test out, I was a bit excited.  Candles on Testosterone sounds manly enough to me; Interestingly enough site didn’t call them scents.. they called them stenches. I picked out Clay-Dough, Wood Shop, Camp Breakfast and Beer.  had high hopes for these candles and couldn’t wait for them to arrive. It was a bit like Christmas, that weird Canadian holiday that involves boxes and the first Jurassic Park movie all rolled into one. I was expecting something like this video:

They’ve arrived and behold the first official TSB Lab Report!

Statement of the Problem: How do I know if candles with manly smells are worth buying?
Hypothesis: That Manly Candles or Mandles might be awesome…
Materials: Several Candles that have smells that no women would want.
Procedure: Look at them, smell them, light them then smell later.
Results (Data):

I was expecting them to come in little glass containers like they do at the mall, but they are in little tins. I guess tins are more mainly…  The labels were pretty nifty tho.

Unlit:

• Clay-Dough smells Play Dough “ish” but considering that i have play dough on my desk at TSB Headquarters its a very very small “ish”.
• Woodshop smells I can sort of place… like maybe someone was using a bandsaw to cut through treated wood, whatever it is… its not right.
• Camp Breakfast smelled like the unholy union of smoke, plastic and burnt bacon. I feel a little sick to my stomach.
• Beer smells exactly like my old frat house. Memories of mixers with co-eds, throwing kegs through windows and hazing people.

Conclusions: Mandles are the unholy union between manly smells and candles.  Thank god I did this at the piano bar at TSB Headquarters  and not in a room. Lit they just smelled like fainter versions of the above or in the case of clay-dough, not really at all. I never lit Camp Breakfast it made me a little sick and I was way too scared of what it would do on fire.  While they would make a great gag gift, don’t get them to impress the babes. We’ll probably keep em at the bar, but I’m super gluing the lids shut.

You can pick them up over at Mandle Candle Company for about $13 bucks