A month back I wrote a post called The Myth of Inner Game in which I talked about how no one owes you self confidence, and that in order to obtain it, you have to go out and earn it.

One of the best ways to work on developing self confidence and inner game is to routinely face your fears and push your comfort limits.  But I also believe that self confidence and inner game can be achieved by mastering certain areas of your outer game.

There are several activities that you can perform, learn, or take part in that will naturally help build a solid foundation of self confidence.

I’ve listed five of the top activities that you can master in the outer world… that will instinctively help re-program some of your limiting beliefs.

5 Outer Game Ways to Grow Your Inner Game

1.  Fighting

No.  I’m not talking about getting tanked on Red Bull and Vodkas and getting into parking lot brawls with any guy that accidentally knocks into you in a bar.

I am talking about legitimate training in a specific fighting skill.  There are certain styles that have gained in popularity as of late such as the variety of mixed martial arts.  Mixed martial arts consist of different forms of grappling like jujutsu, kickboxing, wrestling, and boxing.

Other areas of fighting that you can be trained in are the various forms of karate, judo, ta-kwon-do, and Jeet Kun Do.

Training in a certain form of fighting brings you back to the caveman days, where men displayed their alphaness through physical domination over other men.  Sub-consciously as a gender, I believe many men still harbor silent fears of physical altercation that prevents them from reaching their full potential.

Just by knowing that you possess the ability to flatten another guy (even one bigger than you) will naturally provide you with a level of inner game that cannot be taught in a book.

2.  Dancing

Like fighting, dancing is ritual that has been around probably since the days of cavemen.  But unlike fighting, where you are displaying a level of dominance over other men, dancing allows you to display a certain degree of dominance over your female dance partner.

In most dances, the man acts as the leader.  And by mastering dance, you will begin to internalize that role.

Studying and practicing dance also allows you the ability to get extremely comfortable with the physical touch of a female.  And through practice, you will begin to get in synch with the particular rhythms of the female body.

3.  Public Speaking

Public speaking is a sure fire way to battle approach anxiety.  If you are consistently giving speeches to rooms filled with fifty, a hundred, or even a couple thousand people, you will no doubt see a vast improvement of your interactions with other people.

Becoming a good public speaker also forces you to master your voice tonality, storytelling, humor, posture, and body language.  The combination of perfecting all of these different elements will leave you a powerhouse communicator.

I recommend checking out a local Toastmaster organization to get started.

4.  Travel

I remember during college a friend of mine, Jon, decided to do a solo backpacking trip across Europe.  Jon had previously been a little anti-social and lacked experience with women.  During the 2 months Jon spent alone in Europe he was forced to interact with hundreds of people.  Without having his crutch social circle to fall back on, he was forced to make new friends and flirt with unknown women.

Jon came back from his adventure in Europe a completely different man.

I think traveling to far off destinations is a great way to gain inner game.  I am not advocating taking a cruise or a trip to Disneyworld for inner game.  The travel must take you outside of your comfort zone, and must force you to face some of your fears.

You should look at the time spent traveling as a sort of vision quest.

5.  Bodybuilding

Exercise in general is a great way to boost your self confidence.  It is a proven fact that our physiology greatly impacts our mental health.  This can easily be identified in depressed people, who have a posture and physiology distinct of depression.

But going even further than simply exercising is doing some serious strength training.  Bodybuilding plays into the same physical domination showmanship that fighting does.

It also allows you experience self discipline.  By training yourself in self discipline you develop a greater sense of control over your life.

If you want to learn more about bodybuilding take a look through some of Jeff’s posts here at TSB.