10 Sex Tips for Men

I was browsing a back issue of The Times and found this list of 20 sex tips for me written by Suzi Godson.

There is so much misguided information being fed to us from a thousand different sources all claiming to be gurus.? This list is sort of “back to the basics” but all extremely true.

10 Top Sex Tips For Men

1 There's no substitute for excitement. The range of lubricants on the market can add slip and slide, but should never be used as a short cut.

2 There's more to sex than pushing the right button. Men have discovered that the key to female orgasm is clitoral stimulation, and many now rub the lamp rather than poking around inside it. The upside is that women are climaxing more often but the increase in emphasis on genital manipulation has made for some very mechanical sex. Going straight to the erogenous zones is the equivalent of fast forward. Men who focus on left breast, right breast, genitals, reduce their partner to a set of body parts.

3 Though clitoral orgasm is easy to achieve, most women want to experience penetrative orgasm. Intercourse is the ultimate connection between man and woman and the sensation of fullness that it creates is intensely pleasurable.

4 Women are slow burners. They take longer to become aroused and get as much pleasure, if not more, out of tenderness, kissing and cuddling. Though quickie sex has its place, for women on the whole, the longer sex takes, the better it feels. If arousal is allowed to build gradually, it floods the whole body rather than being confined to the genital area and a delayed orgasm is infinitely more powerful than an orgasm induced by five minutes of digital manipulation.

5 Sexual gymnastics are often distracting. Chopping and changing positions and techniques can make a woman's sexual excitement plummet.

6 Thrusting for hours without climaxing doesn't make you a stud muffin. It does make the vagina numb and sore.

7 Don't assume your partner is comfortable in her own skin. A survey of 3,500 British women, by the bathroom equipment company SHUC, found that one woman in ten feels so embarrassed about her body that she turns the lights out before taking off her clothes. The average woman still spends a lot of time every day beating herself up about her weight and looks. Nakedness increases that vulnerability, so be sensitive to her insecurities and, if you think that your partner looks great, for God's sake tell her.

8 Be polite. Never nudge your partner's head towards your nether regions. During fellatio don't thrust into your partner's mouth, don't hold the side of her head and definitely warn her when you think you are going to come. With regard to orgasm, always operate a ladies-first policy.

9 Put a little X in your sex. Watching steamy movies with your partner will increase the chance that you will have sex.

10 Remember to take your socks off.

Suzi is the author of The Sex Book and Sexploration.