Roosh Says: Why It’s Important To Settle In

I noticed something that increases my approach success rate.

When I was in my “approach machine” phase, what I would do is walk into a bar, do a quick scan for girls, and without taking off my coat or getting a drink, I’d start “gaming.” I wanted to quickly approach all the desirable females so I could move on to the next bar.

I never stopped to realize that hopping around is part of the problem. So now I “settle in” instead. I grab a drink, find a nice post-up spot, and chat with a friend while keeping my eye on the crowd. Now when the opportunity strikes itself (a cute girl crossing into my general area), my mindset will be more about being “fun and light” than putting on a performance.

The reason settling in works is because you are looking for a good time—you’re enjoying the music or interacting with other people instead of just trying to get laid. I’ve had little success jumping from one place I dislike to another just to pick up girls. If I settle in and enjoy myself, the approach will be more relaxed and natural, and as a result, more likely to end in a number or make out.

How you feel when you talk to a girl is partly what she ends up feeling. You’re doing something wrong if on one night you have to jump around to three or more spots. Picking up becomes so much easier when you pick venues that you actually like spending time at.

Before I would go to wherever everyone else is hanging out and hope for the best. It took me a long time to find the “niche” bars where a certain crowd hangs out. That certain crowd is comprised of females that are more receptive to my game. Whereas bar “A” I’m guaranteed at least a couple numbers, at bar “B” I’ll be lucky if I have short five minute conversations. And the bars could be right next door to each other! It’s up to you to find that bar A.

I learned to experiment as I was studying the game full time a few years back, after many nights out at the bar coming home with nothing. But that’s how I learned to figure it out, and I wrote everything I learned in my book Bang.

In Bang I share the best ways to approach a girl in a bar, talk to her, and escalate to the kiss and one-night stand. There’s a lot to learn, unfortunately, but the quicker you start the sooner you’ll be to where you want to go. To learn more about Bang, click here.