The Thrill of Cheating

November 1997

It begins with the perfect lie. “An old friend, George…” I tell her, “wants to catch up and grab a bite to eat.”

My delivery is calm and cool. I make the necessary eye contact, but not too much that it seems I’m trying.

Take a deep breath.

I promise to call her later. I kiss her on the forehead.

She will pout of course. No girlfriend likes to be left alone on a Friday night. Plus Jillian has never been known to be rational. She carried my balls in a jar for the first nine months of our relationship… and has hard time accepting that the balance of power is shifting.

I leave her dorm room and head back to the frat house.

Taker is waiting in a suit and tie. I grab a beer from my fridge, crack it open, and drink it silently while he fills a flask with Jack Daniels.

“Before you put the Jack away pour me a shot” I tell him.

He pours a shot and I take it down. I grab my suit out of my closet and head into the bathroom to change.

“You know you’re taking a huge risk, man” he lectures me from outside the bathroom door. “The Greek system is worse than a high school… people talk; she’s bound to find out where you were tonight.”

What Taker doesn’t understand is that is exactly what I find so fucking exciting about this evening. That is exactly why my adrenaline is pumping, and I feel like I’m on the verge of a heart attack… in that good sort of way.

“Never underestimate the power of denial” I tell him.

“Hey man, it’s your life. Your consequences.”

Jillian was my first girlfriend. She was the first girl that reciprocated my love. She gave me her virginity and took mine. We had a blast together. We shared mutual friends. We were creating memories…

But the fact remained. I was growing increasingly bored with fucking the same pussy over and over and over and over…

Daddy was becoming a big man on campus. For the first time in my life I had opportunity. I had opportunity throwing itself at me. Mainly in the form of a blonde named Tracy.

Tracy was straight out of high school and exemplified that high school- social status seeking-attain at any cost-evil freaking bitch. Think Ali Larter in Varsity Blues. And she had her sight set on Daddy. And she wasn’t taking no for an answer.

Our first “unofficial” kiss took place a week before at an “anything for a dollar” mixer at the Frat house. I didn’t count it as cheating because there was fake money exchanged, and refusing the kiss would have compromised the integrity of the “anything for a dollar” theme.

Tonight was a whole nother ball game.

Taker and I were heading to the Holliday Inn to crash the Sigma Delta Tai formal. My friends and I made it a habit to throw on a suit and crash the different sorority’s formals that took place throughout the fall. These events had open bar… and a handful of girls that usually went dateless… and after a night of heavy drinking these girls were primed and ready!

I happened to know for a fact Tracy wasn’t bringing a date!

Taker and I strolled in the ballroom like rock stars. As I entered I let out the loudest longest “Whooooooooooooooooooo” to ever come out of my mouth. Yes, the adrenaline was in high gear.

The girls had all been drinking for a couple hours and welcomed us with open arms. A few of our friends were there as dates to some sisters and I immediately mingled with them… only acknowledging Tracy with a half-assed wave.

For the first hour Tracy and I traded glances from a far. I spent my time entertaining her friends… occasionally we would stroll past each other and let our hands hang down as to brush against one another. I’d give her hand a little squeeze but never take my eyes off the person I was talking to. Later when she was slow dancing with a friend’s date… her eyes were glued on me.

I hear the Cure’s Friday the 13^th in my head:

“She slithers across the floor like a snake. And her eyes. She’s always got them stuck on me… I’m surprised. At how hot honey colored and hungry she looks.

And I just know that tomorrow I’ll feel bad. But I don’t want to think about that.”

I’m walking out of the bathroom when Tracy finally approaches me.

“So what do I have to do to get some of your attention?” she asks.

She gives me a pouty look and it takes every ounce of self discipline to not pull her into the bathroom and fuck her right then.

“You want to get some air?” I ask her.

We walk outside and around the building to a gazebo in the back. We sit down next to each other in awkward silence for a minute.

I pull my flask out of my pocket and offer her a swig.

“You brought a flask to an open bar?”

“For situations like this.”

“Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“Yes” I smile.

“You’re bad” she says.

She grabs the flask from my hand and takes down a big swig.

“Warm Jack…Yummy!”

I take the flask back from her and swig hard.

“Yes… yummy”

“So are you like totally regretting what happened last week?” she hesitantly asks.

I slowly shake my head no.

“And your girlfriend knows where you are tonight?”

I slowly shake me head no.

We sit in silence for a minute. I take her hand in mine. It’s cold so I begin to caress it with both of my hands. She is just staring at me with these cold blue puppy dog eyes. There is a soft light reflecting on her face exposing this splash of freckles on her nose… her other hand reaches across me and wraps itself around my neck. She leans her face in toward me and I close my eyes waiting for her …