Developing Your Sense of Humor (day 10)

We are at the 10th day of our 31 Days to Better Game series. The last few lessons have dealt with improving your conversation skills. A lot of the advice about improving conversation skills has included the idea of making women laugh. I’ve asked Barry Kirkey (Extramask,Twentysix) of Revolution 31 to write a lesson about developing your sense of humor.  Barry is currently teaching a Fundamentals of Comedy Bootcamp.

Being Funnier ? Make it fun! by Barry Kirkey (Extramask)

Every woman likes a positive man, and often, positivity takes the form of a good sense of humor. The problem with giving anyone advice about how to become funnier, is that humor is universally subjective. Meaning, every culture, sub-culture or individual decides what is funny on their own. Yeah there are exceptions, people can be told by popular media what they think is funny, but youre not one of those people because youre reading this article.

Here are some things you can do to become funnier, in chronological order:

First, find out what you like. A sense of humor is as unique as your own DNA (simile). They are usually a complex combination of joke types, body language, interest in shows/movies, and so forth. This step should normally be a no-brainer, but youd be surprised at how so many people dislike comedy.

Once you find out what you like, expose yourself to it. Watch those shows and movies that you love. Watch them alone or with friends and family. Learn how to laugh out loud when you watch them, even if youre by yourself. I would caution you, however, not to force it down, meaning if youre not in the mood to watch a comedy show (sitcoms, late night, etc.) then dont watch it. If you have the problem of never being in the mood then you need to find out why this is the case.

Note:
If youre never in the mood to laugh, you may have other issues that are keeping you down. I suggest you speak to a psychologist, doctor or other professional that can determine why your mood is always down. You might be surprised to learn about what prevents you from doing what you love. This can be something as serious as depression or anxiety. However, it can also mean that youre still, subconsciously, dealing with unresolved matters in your life (such as, a fight with your dad 6 months ago and you havent talked to him since).

After enough exposure, youre ready to take it to the field. Try to avoid copying other jokes directly ? those Borat impressions are no longer funny, so dont do them. Unless youre a naturally funny guy? then you can get away with it, but thats a whole different article. If you must copy, use a variation of what youve learned instead. For example, if you want to do a Seinfeld joke, dont just start quoting the show. Do your worst and most annoying Seinfeld voice and exaggerate a Seinfeld-type joke as much as you can. Make it ridiculous and unexpected.

While all this is going, laugh at your own jokes. Laugh as much as you can and absorb the criticism of others by laughing even more. Heres why: Laughing is infectious. The more you laugh, the more others around you are likely to laugh as well.

Not only that, but lets consider the whole theory of conditioning by association. If youre consistently around the same people, doing jokes often, and laughing often, people will associate you with laughter. When this happens, youve won the game ? youre known as the funny guy.

But Mr. fuckface (me)! How do I use this to get girls!?

Just by statistics, most people end up in quality relationships through other people that you already know (i.e., in the office, friend of a friend or family member). So you get the immediate benefit of being the funny guy in your own social circle that way.

But Mr. fagotface (me)! What about girls you dont know?!

Okay, thats definitely more difficult, but not impossible. With cold approaches, first impressions are the only thing you have, so make it count. Start off with the best jokes you have, make sure you laugh and you smile. If she looks down on you, make a friendly insult, wow ? someone dropped their funny basket in the toilet today! and walk on to the next person.

If you end up forced into a situation with someone who doesnt respect your humor then this is particularly challenging, because you can potentially make an enemy without knowing it. Similar to what happened with Darth Vador, its difficult to turn someone from being your enemy to your friend, but not impossible. I wont go into this situation now, because that is a discussion for those who are already polished and comfortable with their own sense of humor

Dun dun dun! Anal.

*For further information on developing your sense of humor check out Barry’s Fundamentals of Comedy Bootcamp or read Stanley Lyndon’s How to Be Funny book.*